Someone famous once said, "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice."
That's easy to remember when life is good, but it's more important to remember when you're faced with a challenge, especially when that challenge is in your romantic relationship, when the tendency is to shut down or go on the attack. I've tried both of those tactics and I wouldn't recommend them if the relationship is important to you. I also want to go on record saying that nice guys don't have to finish last. Hmm, I think that'll be my next post. ;-) Nice Guys Don't Have to Finish Last
More from YourTango: 5 Ways Abandonment Issues Can Ruin Your Relationships
Common life events that can create trouble in relationships include things like moving, being unemployed, getting a new job, the death of a parent and having a baby. People tend to contract during those times naturally, and it's not necessarily unhealthy. You need to preserve your energy when going through major life changes. But contracting doesn't have to mean shutting down! It can mean that you are extra careful with what you choose to do and with whom you choose to spend your time. It can mean that you cultivate your love relationship because that is what helps you stay balanced.
More from YourTango: 50 Shades Of Grey: Do You Like It Rough?
Unfortunately, that's not what typically happens. More often, when faced with a major life change, even if it is one of our own choosing, once we launch the change, we panic. "OMG, what was I thinking?" we say to ourselves. We go into fear or descend deeper into it. We start imagining the worst case scenarios, and those imaginings have an impact on our reality. As we imagine our fears, we project them out into our reality, so they start showing up in our lives (Law of Attraction 101). New Year, New Possibilites, & Overcoming the Same Fears
I have a solution, and I call it "catching yourself in the act." I believe I read about it along time ago from Abraham-Hicks. (My apologies if it was from someone else). Here's how it works: