Flipping through YourTango on this fine Friday morning, I came upon a great article from a fellow YT expert about 7 things you can learn from strippers. It was written from a guy's point of view, and it absolutely paralleled my own personal experience as a stripper. Some of the YT readers didn't really appreciate the article's point of view, but I'd like to defend it.
I was a stripper for two years in my early 40's (yes, I was like the grandmother of the club) and it was probably the most empowering experience of my life.
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Not only was it personally empowering, but it greatly improved my sex life with my partner. Here's how:
- My self confidence went through the roof. I'd always been at least slightly uncomfortable being complimented on my appearance, but with men complimenting me on ALL parts of my body, I had to get used to it. I mean, really, who gets complimented about how cute her earlobes are?! This girl, apparently.
- I learned how to dance. I'd been really self-conscious about dancing in public, after seeing myself dance at a rock club in the 80's (think Elaine from Seinfeld, that was me and I'm not even exaggerating). If you can't be comfortable dancing, you're not likely to be comfortable having sex.
- I learned how important the role of fantasy is. Strip clubs sell fantasy, and I had a chance to try on all sorts of roles. With my new-found self confidence, I was able to initiate some of those fantasies for my partner. So not only were we acting out a fantasy, but I was the one taking charge. Double turn on for him!
- I learned that variety is absolutely the spice of life. Sure, I had customers who came in for me and only me, but my favorite customer came in for variety. He'd spend time with me, but then he'd be off looking for someone who didn't look like me. The only dancer he didn't like was the one who looked like his wife... he could get that at home. At my home, variety helped keep not just my partner but also me excited about our sex life.
- I learned how to be comfortable asking for what I wanted. At the club, there's no sense in being shy or coy. If I wanted to take a guy for a dance, I had to ask him. If I didn't want him to touch me a certain way, I had to tell him. If I liked the way he was touching me, I was sure to tell him. At home, that translated into more intense and frequent orgasms because I was able to say what I wanted.
Rather than getting pissed that your guy is going to a strip joint, I suggest joining him. It's a lot more fun than you might imagine. Like this article? Click here for more like it. And as a YourTango reader, sign up for my mailing list for a preview of my new book, The Soulmate Myth.