Finding Your Self in Relationships

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Finding Your Self in Relationships

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I often hear complaints from women that they
don’t even know who they are anymore. 
They’ve been married for ten or twenty years, raised children, had
careers, and somehow they’ve lost their core sense of self.  They think the solution is to leave the
relationship to find their true selves. 

What they are experiencing is emotional fusion,
and the cure lies in the process of differentiation.  David Schnarch, in Passionate Marriage,
refers to the process of differentiation as a “process by which we become more
uniquely ourselves by maintaining ourselves in relationship with those we love.”

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