50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex

After the Honeymoon is Over


After the Honeymoon is Over

The honeymoon is over. It’s inevitable, really.

The honeymoon is sustained by certain chemicals in the brain whose job it is to make us horny so we have lots of sex and procreate. It’s all about survival of the species. Once the kids come out, a new set of chemicals kick in. The new set of chemicals is led by oxytocin, the “feel-good” chemical. It is designed to create a sense of togetherness and it’s triggered by physical contact like hugging and hand holding. Archaically, its job is to ensure that the man sticks around long enough to help raise the children through that first, most vulnerable few years of life. But no matter how long the honeymoon, couples inevitably enter the second phase of their relationship.

More from YourTango: 5 Ways Abandonment Issues Can Ruin Your Relationships

As soon as the honeymoon is over, the power struggle begins. The power struggle can last a few months, or it can last the rest of their lives, depending on how each person deals with it. The power struggle has five stages, and they are the same stages that a person goes through when faced with death. The five stages are shock, denial, betrayal, bargaining and acceptance. In this case, the death is not a person, but it’s the death of your romantic illusions. It’s the death of the happily ever after fairy tale. And it’s every bit as painful as if it were a real person dying.

The first stage is shock. You can not believe that your beloved is acting this way. Where’s the guy who brought you flowers every Friday night? Where’s the woman who cooked your favorite meal on Sunday? Who is this new person and what did they do to your beloved? If you’re like me, you move very quickly into the second stage.

The second stage is denial. Maybe if you pretend you didn’t see (or hear) the way your partner is behaving, it will go away. Denial can go on for a long time. In fact, I believe that a lot of older couples who’ve been together for a long time live in a permanent state of denial. One thing that happens during the denial stage is that you begin to make excuses for your partner’s behavior. Another hallmark of the denial stage is ignoring your partner’s behavior.

More from YourTango: 50 Shades Of Grey: Do You Like It Rough?

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts

One-liners Guaranteed to Turn Up the Heat

Want some off the hook sex tonight? Use words as foreplay!

Make A Move

Forgiveness : The Most Important "F-Word".

Forgive so that the past no longer holds you back. It is time to move forward.

Trouble In Paradise

5 Signs Your Marriage is At Risk

Learn the warning signs for divorce so you can avoid a crisis and find ways to turn things around.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>