I always say that sexy is an attitude, not a dress size. Realistically, I know that for most women, it’s easier to feel good about yourself when you feel good about your physical body. I call this thinking, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” It's the kind of thinking that keeps people stuck in lots of areas of their lives.
I want to suggest a change in paradigm. Try this on: “I’ll see it when I believe it.” This saying reflects the way the Law of Attraction works: we attract into our life what we think about and focus on consistently and authentically. Consistency means you train your mind to focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. Authenticity means you can tap into the feeling behind the thought you’re training into your mind.
Changing the way you feel and think about yourself is really that simple. That’s not to say it’s easy; inertia is a powerful force. But it is simple; you simply need to be consistent and authentic. Here are twelve tips to help you feel sexy in 2012.
- Look at yourself in the mirror every day. Get up close so you can look directly into your own eyes. Smile and say, “I love you.” Do this every day until you really, truly, deeply believe it. Don’t be surprised if this deceptively simple exercise brings tears to your eyes. It might feel awkward at first, but stick with it for at least a month.
- Think about a time when you felt sexy and confident. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and totally immerse yourself in the memory. Recall every detail you can, until you feel the feelings bubbling up to the surface. Hold onto the feelings for a few seconds, and while they’re still strong, open your eyes and smile. You’re training yourself to feel sexy and confident when you do this regularly.
- Go through your closet and get rid of any clothing that no longer fits or feels good. If you don’t love it, donate it. You should be left with only things you love or need. Any time you wear frumpy, ill fitting clothing, you tell yourself you don’t deserve to feel sexy. This doesn’t mean you always have to dress up. Simple, casual, well-fitting clothing can stay. Even your favorite yoga pants can stay. But the ratty old sweat pants have to go.
- Put on your favorite outfit. Look at yourself in a full length mirror. Compliment yourself out loud about how great you look, and be specific. Parade around your bedroom and strike a few poses. Don’t forget to smile as you do it; remember, it’s all about attitude!
- Sign up for pole dancing classes. No, I’m not kidding. Take classes for at least a month. Not only is pole dancing a kick-butt workout, but you can’t help feeling sexy... and strong, and powerful... when you master a move. As an added bonus, the classes will make you stronger and more confident, and there’s nothing sexier than a strong, confident woman.
- If you have a romantic partner, take the initiative and do something sexually you’ve never done. I guarantee, your partner will be so stoked, you’ll feel like a goddess. Need an idea? Try this: look him (or her) right in the eye, with your chin lowered so you’re looking up into their eyes. Say, “I want to make love to you... right now.” Then take their hand and walk into the bedroom.