Do you ever have that sinking feeling that "It is happening to me again?" The following can support you in noticing how and when resilience reveals itself in you and your children's lives.
When challenges and obstacles occur, we often admire those that seem to act with ease and do or say the right things. The reason for this admiration is that the individual has earned it. How they earn it isn't any different from anyone else. We all experience trying and difficult times throughout life. What sets some people apart is not only the hardship they've endured, but in the responsible way they have chosen to manage their feelings and emotions about it. More importantly, their view of themselves has little, if any, ring of victimhood in it. Getting Past The Past
The critical elements of resilience are:
- To effectively communicate when challenged
- To maintain a positive and outgoing view of ourselves
- To manage the stress and emotions in a responsive manner
Reaction versus response usually ends up much like adding fuel to the fire. The greatest of accomplishments often have come with a heavy dose of resilience. The area of our lives where we learn to expand our ability to "stay the course" is in our beliefs — some very serviceable; others not so. Thus, if you are seeking resilience, you may want to start by questioning some of your beliefs. How To Get Rid Of Your Dating B.S. (Belief System)
Consider Thomas Edison's philosophy about his many attempts to create the light bulb. "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Another example would be Nelson Mandela's heroic battle to defeat apartheid in South Africa. Both of these individuals possessed a certain belief that their mission would be successful regardless of obstacles and challenges. Viktor Frankl, author of Man's Search for Meaning, tells his story of perseverance in the face of seemingly certain death every single day when he was imprisoned in a World War II concentration camp.
Our history will be the best indicator of how well we can fare with resilience. Unfortunately, when we review the past, we tend to focus on the negatives and rarely look for the opportunities to grow in such events. Now is the chance. Most of us have at least a few instances of success in our past and we can reflect on these times as good evidence of how we acted upon supportive beliefs. Learning isn't just about repeating failures, with only the pain as the byproduct. We must ardently seek the lesson in each moment. 5 Steps to Getting & Then Staying Motivated
5 Questions that will lead you to look towards resilience:
1. Have you experienced success in your past and what behaviors made the difference?
2. Have you experienced failure in your past and what did you learn?
3. Are the lessons from failures and the results from successes present today?
4. Are you in regular communication with a support team to keep you on track?
5. Are you taking full responsibility for your life?