This article explains why going back to an ex-boyfriend very rarely leads to a happy relationship.
Men don’t change! There I admitted it!
If you’re a woman and you are involved with a guy and you're pinning your future on the hope that a guy is going to one day wake up and see the light and change the way he’s been for his entire life I’ve got news for you…you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Now I’m not saying he can’t change or he won’t change. Look, anything is possible in this world. But the stark reality is he’s probably not going to change.
So the more you harp on him, the more you complain and the more you hope that one day he’ll change and you will finallly behappy the more you need to take a good hard look in the mirror.
Because people (not just men) very rarely change.
Even if a person has the desire to change, the odds of them actually changing are very slim.
Look around you. Observe all of the people in your life, especially those that have been in your life for years.
Are they really any different than they were years ago? Don’t they still have those annoying traits? Aren’t their personalities pretty much the same? Don’t they have the same bad habits that they had many years ago?
You know why?
People don’t’ change!
And let me let you in on another little secret. Even if you can get a man to agree with you and admit that he has some flaws in who he is and how he treats you, that admission means ….NOTHING!!!
Now I won’t go into details about how we operate as human beings but I will say that unless a man really wants to change for himself AND he does the actual work to change the odds of him miraculously changing into the man you want him to be is slim to none.
The lesson that people don’t change unless the meet the above two criteria is one I learned the hard way. I spent three years in a relationship with a person hoping that things would get better. NO matter how unhappy and unfulfilled I was in the relationship I stayed because she was giving me exactly what I wanted to hear.
No matter what my reality was saying I was willing sacrifice my happiness for the hope that one day things would be better.
It was THE biggest mistake I ever made and one of the most important learning lessons in my life.
If the person are in a relationship with isn’t continuously making you happy than they are the wrong person for you.
If a guy doesn’t fill up your love tank and make you happy the first time around what makes you think it’s going to be different on the second, third or fourth try?
I’m sorry to burst your bubble but what you see is what you get.
Now if you want to settle and be in a relationship because you are afraid of being alone or you simply want to have a man in your life than accept the fact that you are settling and have the best mediocre relationship you can.
But don’t’ complain, because it will be your choice to settle.
But realize this. You don’t have to settle. There is a guy out there who will meet your essential needs and give you everything you want for you to have that happy and fulfilling relationship you desire…and deserve.
In fact, that is one of the things I recommend to the members of Smarter Dating community.
The key to knowing you are in the right relationship is when you are involved with a guy who doesn’t have to change. He naturally gives you all of the things you need to be happy and fulfilled in your relationship…both in and out of the bedroom.
So instead of trying to make things work with you ex again and again you might consider going out and finding that special guy who doesn’t have to change. Because when you find that guy you don’t have to hope that one day you will have what you really want. It will be there from the very beginning!
But until you find that guy I have one recommendation. If you are involved with a guy and you are hoping that one day he will change and be the man you want him to be…I’ve got one thing to say….RUN... AND DON’T LOOK BACK!!!
If you have a history of making poor choices which do not lead to the result you desire in your love life and you would like to learn how to date smarter, I invite you to visit http://www.SmarterDatingForWomen.com. And while you're there, make sure you pick up a FREE copy of my e-book: The ABC's of Smarter Dating; 26 Tips and Strategies to Immediately Improve Your Love Life