Have you ever had sex with a guy thinking that it was going to bring your relationship to the next level only to realize that as soon as he got “some” he quickly disappeared?
Well, unfortunately you’re not alone. One of the biggest problems for single women is knowing when to sleep with a man. It is a question I am often asked and to be honest there is no magic answer that works for everyone.
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Some women believe in waiting a few months before diving into bed and others due to their beliefs they prefer to wait a long time, sometimes even until marriage. Now I am the first one to respect a person’s beliefs but If I were to be honest I must admit that I don’t get that one.
What if you wait until marriage and the guy is horrible in bed? Are you willing to spend the rest of your life with Mr. One-Minute Man?
And for others there is no specific timetable before they do the horizontal mambo. They simply go with their gut and do it when they feel they are ready.
I have found that the timing of when a woman is going to have sex isn’t as important as her mindset and intentions beforehand.
If you think about it sex is just a physical act between a man and a woman. Now, before you get your panties in a bunch and start calling me a “typical man”, let me explain.
When I say sex is just a physical act between a man and a woman what I am saying that the “act” in and of itself is purely physical. A man takes his erect penis and inserts it into a woman’s vagina. That’s it. That’s all that sex is.
However, how we interpret that physical act and the beliefs we create around it determine if we think it is “intimacy, dirty, fun, unholy, etc.”
And this is where it becomes challenging. For many women they interpret sex as the ultimate sign of intimacy. For them sex is just as much an emotional act as it is a physical act. This is why once some women have sex with a guy their emotions get all out of whack when he doesn’t become more emotionally attached after doing it.
This is also why the Friends with Benefits arrangements often don’t work out. If you have a hard time separating your emotions from sex than it will be impossible for you to have sex with someone and not get emotionally involved.
Whenever I am asked “when should I sleep with a guy” I often answer with “when you are ready and you are doing it simply because you want to”.
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Do not sleep with a guy hoping he will like you more. Do not sleep with a guy because if you don’t you feel he will leave you to get some action elsewhere. If you have only been going out with a guy for a little while and you are the type of person who wants to know a guy better before “opening up” to him I suggest you wait until you are ready.
The right guy has no problem waiting for his woman as long as he knows the payoff is realistic and worth his time. However the wrong guy will pressure you and talk about “his needs”. He will say or do anything to get his way.