You mean well, we know you do, but there are a handful of well-intentioned tokens of advice that are anything but uplifting. I am a devout believer in refraining from unsolicited assistance, but if you must bestow your wisdom upon your relationship challenged friends, please refrain from the following:
1. "You're too picky." This popular throw away statement is easily misunderstood because the evil underneath it screams, "It's time to settle." Looking back on my last two years of dating, I am certain that I would rather be flying solo than walking hand-in-hand with any of the missed connections that I allowed to pass me by on my journey to finding the one. And the statement's sister "nobody's perfect" may at its core be fact, but the deeper truth is that there is someone out there who is perfect for me. So trust that your friend knows the same and celebrate her strength instead of questioning her selectivity.
2. "You're wasting your time." Commonly thrown at your girlfriend in the midst of her controversial courtship, this phrase struggles to shake it's force of judgment. Time is after all, a personal possession. I knowingly could have walked away from a special person earlier than I did, but I waited. Those months that now feel like minutes, allowed myself to gain the strength and learn the lessons my heart needed to heal and move on.
3. "Everything happens for a reason." This empty statement is thrown around when we suspect you do not know what else to offer us. And if you are catching us on a prickly day, we could interrupt this fluffy gem as a declaration that you believe our actions are tipping the universe outside our favor.
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