Moving too fast can be your love life's worst move. There may be great disappointment.
Mr. Too Good To Be True had me at his virtual hello. We whizzed through the online dating banter and presumed a perfect first date. A joyful month ensued, consisting of sweet daily text messages and consistent dinners, movies and starry eyed moments. I was more smitten than Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch. And then, on one unsuspecting day, his disappearance derailed our plans to take our courtship to the next level.
Before you fret, let me clarify. Mr. TGTBT was spotted on Facebook and alive and well. He just vanished from my life and my life only with no explanation. I desperately sought answers but he ignored my closure calls, text messages and anxious email. Heartbroken, I threw up my hands and retreated back to my single life. Months later, I ran into Mr. Too Good To Be True and he stumbled back, wide eyed and mumbled, "Sorry, I messed up." And he did (ethically speaking) but I did too. Spare yourself the pain and missing person's ad by avoiding these dating blunders:
1. Don't Confuse Texting for Talking
We may have been connected but that false connection was lost in translation. I made the rookie mistake of taking his romantic declarations and heart decorated messages as the truth, when in reality he was hiding behind his virtual shield. If someone is enamored with you, they will want to see you or at the very least, hear your voice on a regular basis.
2. Do Keep Dating
Two blissful weeks into our courtship, I abandoned my Match.com profile and assumed that Mr. TGTBT followed suit. My premature monogamy slipped out in conversation and my visibly taken aback date avoided eye contact as he confirmed the same. Do not back your date into an exclusive corner.
3. Don't Fall Too Fast
With time thrown between us, I now understand that the person whose disappearance nearly destroyed me, was a stranger. My ready-for-a-relationship light was on and Mr. TGTBT swooped in, said all the right things, and secured my confidence in his sincerity. My desperation radiated off of me and onto him like a bad August sunburn. Pace yourself and get to know a person before you decide he's the one.
Don't get me wrong, the disappearing act is selfish, cowardly and far too easy in today's technological world, but keep these tips in mind to prevent the fallout pain from happening to you. It's okay to like a guy but it's important that you know that his efforts will lie in person, and not via text messaging. Once you know that, you won't fall into the trap of premature monogamy!