1. ”You look good, for your age…” OH MY GOSH!!! Don’t EVER say anything that even resembles this faux compliment! Any woman past the age of 21 is going to be offended by that comment, even if you really meant it as a compliment. The problem is, our western society praises youth and all things young. The pressure to maintain a youthful appearance is on most women’s radar once they hit their mid-thirties. Although feeling more sexually confident, they are also aware that they’re not getting any younger and comments that infer to that fact, may be taken as a back-handed compliment. So, play it safe and just say “You look great!” If in conversation, the question of age comes up, see how she handles it and take your cues from her response and demeanor. No one should have to hide anything, but they may want to tell you on their own terms. So be cautious when treading around the age issue. So when you meet her, and you want to say she looks great (at any age), just tell her so, skip the after-thought and you’ll stay in her good graces.
2. ”I usually date skinny girls, young girls, black girls, fat girls..” Just fill in the blank! We don’t want to know that you have some kind of ‘type’ and that, worse of all, we don’t fit it!! Why would we want to hear about skinny girls if were ‘athletic’? Why all the talk about black girls if we’re Asian?? What’s the point? You’re not choosing an ice-cream flavor, you’re talking about people you’ve been attracted to and we certainly don’t want to hear how we wouldn’t usually ‘fill-the-bill’! The woman of your dreams won’t want to be compared to some other girl you’ve dated. She wants you to see her as unique and an original, not a type.
3. ”My last girlfriend…” Please, call your buddy, your pals or your mom, but don’t start talking about your ex…We don’t want to hear you compare, contrast or complain! Similar to point number two stated above, the woman of your dreams wants to feel special, not just the replacement for your last girlfriend. It’s up to you to show her how you’ve noticed the unique qualities that make her irresistible to you. Don’t do that by comparing her to your last girlfriend. Most of us have a past and that’s where we want to keep it, in the past!
4. “Back in high school…” Again, call your best bud and reminisce with him about all the touchdowns you scored, the leads you were offered, the ‘almost famous’ moments of your life prior to the last five years. Nothing’s worse than meeting a guy and all of a sudden, he starts taking a long walk down memory lane for the next hour or so of your date! If it happened ‘back in the day’, just wait for a time when you’re mutually sharing stories about the past instead of trying to impress the woman of your dreams with your so-called ‘glory days’. There will be a time for bragging, when you can tell her about all the awards, goals and accolades, but when you’re first meeting the woman of your dreams, let her share a bit about herself. If she’s into you, she’ll be more than a little eager to hear your ‘war stories’ and maybe even check out a few of your ‘battle scars’!
5. “So, do you work out?”…Although this might be a clever way to compliment her figure, do yourself a favor and make a statement instead, like: “You look really fit. Do you work out?” Now, you’ve affirmed that she looks good, (not that she should go work out) and you’re asking if she makes working out a part of her daily routine. It’s semantics, but when you’re meeting the woman of your dreams, you want to start off on the right foot, instead of putting your foot in your mouth with misconstrued comments…
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6. “I HATE ____________”…Why let out all the un-pleasantries right up front so soon? How about curbing your comments so as not to offend the woman of your dreams with something she may deem as racist, offensive or just plain ‘ol mean?! Sometimes, when you first meet someone and are getting to know them, it can be off-putting to hear them verbally bash other groups of people or organizations. It could put her into ‘defense’ mode and you might spend the rest of the evening debating opposite sides. First meetings are usually a place to get her to feel comfortable with you, not like she should have come prepared with boxing gloves to spar on current events and issues!
7. “What’s your favorite position?”…Unless you’re playing baseball, this lewd question is sure to make her feel cheap and propositioned. Although sexual attraction is probably high on both your lists as to why you’re hanging out together, being overly crude can backfire and be upsetting to the woman of your dreams. If you’re really looking for a lasting relationship with someone, it doesn’t make much sense to strike up the subject of sexual gymnastics at this early stage of the game. Give the girl a break – Don’t start asking what she’ll ‘do’ or not ‘do’. That will unfold all on its own…
8. “How many partners have you been with?”…Ok, the need for truth when it comes to STD’s or your general health is understandable, but asking how many guys she’s gotten ‘down n’ dirty’ with on your first date, isn’t going to score big points for you! Most people have a sexual history or past. It’s important to be honest about anything that could potentially affect your partner in the future should your relationship turn physical, but coming out with such a direct question when you’ve just met isn’t the best way to approach a delicate subject.
9. “I’ll call you.”…Don’t say it unless you mean it. Nothing’s worse than not following through with what you say. The woman of your dreams wants to be with a man who is honest and keeps his word, even if it’s simply giving her a call back in a reasonable time frame…note the word reasonable – that means reasonable to her!!
10. “My mom does it like…” Every woman wants to be with a man who appreciates, cherishes and loves women. That said, no woman wants to be constantly compared to their man’s mother. The relationship you have with your mom is separate from the one you hope to have with the woman of your dreams. You want to make her feel secure that it’s her that you want to please, not your mother, as much as you love and adore your mother! It can conjure up a competitive vibe between the two most important women in your life, and you really don’t want to encourage or flame that kind of fire! Mama will always be your first love, just try not to make all other women feel inferior or second best. Respect the fact that they’re two different people, both of which want to hold special and unique places in your heart.
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Relationship Monica S.
This article was originally published at How To Get The Woman of Your Dreams . Reprinted with permission from the author.