Polyamory: What If You Keep Falling In Love?

Love, Sex

In an open marriage, what happens if your husband or girlfriend falls in love with someone else?

A writer from AOL interviewed me a month or so ago. The interview was posted on their health page for a week or two and then when a piece on polyamory came out on Newsweek.com, AOL moved my interview to their homepage. Within a matter of minutes, my inbox was bursting with comments and questions; the interview itself had more than 1500 comments posted on it. I would love to be able to email every single person individually, but since that would be humanly impossible, YourTango.com has been gracious enough to let me answer questions and reply to comments here. Be sure to check back regularly for new discussions, and, when you do, I hope you'll write in your own comments and questions as well.

Read "Portrait Of An Open Marriage," the essay that lead to Jenny Block's book

Hi Jenny,

I haven't read your book yet, I actually stumbled on the article on AOL about it and got involved in your interview Q&A's.

Until I can get your book, one question did come to mind after reading your interview.

I get and understand what you are all doing and think if it works, awesome. However, I wonder what will happen if your husband happens to also fall in love with another, outside of you and your mutual girlfriend. Have you all thought about that yet? Or for that matter, what if your girlfriend or you all fall in love with another? Will your family just continue to grow? Have you all discussed this possibility, which is real, on one or all of your parts?

I'm just curious. I get you're all kinda wingin' this relationship as you go, but it's really the first question that popped into my head and I'm just curious.

This is an excellent question and it is certainly something we have all considered—a lot. Just to be clear, although they are very good friends, my husband and my girlfriend are not in love or involved with one another. And my girlfriend and I are very much in love. The thing is, we don't think of love as a limited commodity. So, falling in love with someone else is not so much of an issue. 

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