My sister is getting married in a little over a month and I have to admit: I'm jealous ... but not for the reasons you think. Yes, that green-eyed monster rears its ugly head as I watch her plan her wedding, but I'm not envious that she's walking down the aisle. I'm excited and happy for her.
I'm jealous because she's cruising right through all the planning with such ease. She's not experiencing the hair-ripping stress of seating arrangements, or nail-biting decisions such as the "blush" vs. "pale Pink" color palette debate. I, on the other hand, did not plan my wedding so gracefully. I was wrought with pressure, sleepless nights and migraine headaches.
Shockingly enough, my big sister is enjoying the process, and my jaw drops regularly over her composure. It's time to debunk the idea of the bridezilla and the checked-out groom. I'm going to share four things I've learned from my sister in hopes that you will take it to heart, and truly enjoy your wedding:
1. Focus on the marriage vs. the wedding day. My sister and her fiancé have been undergoing premarital counseling to address issues that come up in their relationship. As a Couples Counselor, this is something that I recommend for all couples, because every relationship has its hang ups. As a professional, I strongly believe in the efficacy of counseling, but on a personal level, it has been amazing to see the impact it's had on someone I love so dearly. Daily Mood Lifters - 5 Tips To Up Your Happiness Factor
The bottom line is that getting down on one knee does not mean that your issues magically disappear. If you are engaged, take the plunge and address your problems head on to build a healthier relationship and ease any cold feet leading up to your wedding day.
2. Plan a realistic budget. My sister and her fiancé have been steadfast on staying within their means. It has meant foregoing extravagant (no hot air balloon arrival) elements but with some creativity, you can still have the 'wow' factor. Most importantly, because the debt isn't pilling up, they are much less stressed. Save yourself the worry about how you'll pay off thousands of dollars of debt five years after your wedding, and set a budget that you can live with.
3. Delegate tasks. Most brides-to-be want to accept help. The problem is twofold. One, it's hard to ask for help. And two, once something is handed off, it's difficult to sincerely check it off your mental to-do list. 4 Non-Annoying Ways To Get Him To Do What You Want
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