The seven year itch: fact or fiction? Many couples find themselves feeling trapped at some point in their relationship, but how much truth is really in the tale of the legendary itch? Does it just happen to couples who are not truly committed? Why seven years, and is this just about love or does it happen in all sorts of relationships?
From a rational standpoint, it does sound like an old wive's tale. Yet marital statistics indicate that many partnerships suffer from the "treadmill syndrome" right around this time. Why? As an astro-numerologist I know the significance of the number seven. Everything in life revolves around cycles — even relationships, and not just romantic ones. It may sound crazy to think that love is controlled by numbers, but in life and relationships, there is always a pattern to be found. Numbers deliver clues on how to handle what comes up or what will happen if you refuse to make a change or attitude adjustment.
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Each of the nine years in a typical relationship cycle requires certain actions on your part to move you to the next step. The end of a cycle does not mean the end of a relationship; rather it is about deepening the growth in a renewed way. Your personal needs will always be present, yet it can be easy to get lost in someone else's needs (read: your partner's) or to succumb to the exhaustion of doing it all "right". Suppressing feelings of unrest or anxiety while pretending to be happy means something is going to give, sooner or later. It just so happens that year seven is often the breaking point for couples.
Year seven is an itchy time in love that demands introspection and re-examination of your beliefs, figuring out if the universal "couple truths" (partnership, trust, and loyalty, to name a few) are true for you. The spiritual seven wants you to find your personal truth by asking questions like "What does this relationship mean to me?" Typical signs that you're getting itchy are: a lack of passion, exhaustion and boredom, despite the fact that love is still present. If you are experiencing the seven year itch right now, don't despair — you're not alone! It's because we are in a universal year of seven and everyone is effected by this energy. (How do we know? Add the digits of this year: 2+0+1+4 equals ... you guessed it).
Perhaps your relationship feels stagnant as if all the magic is gone, but pull yourself out of the gloom: Seven doesn't have to signal doom and gloom! There are some great things this magical number can bring into your life to help you reignite the passion. Need some inspiration? Think about the shape of the numeral seven — it is open and looks almost like an arrow pointing upward. The longer part of the symbol slashes down into the ground. It is considered a lightning rod for insight and change, connecting heaven to earth, the past and the future. Now that's inspiring!
Seven is the symbol of slumber. Rest is required — of all of us. (Think of the Biblical allusion to the seventh day of rest. To tap into great rest, focus on your breathing, slow down the rush and noise of just "doing". You will find what you seek when you ground yourself or rest. Slumber is about connecting to your dreams and honoring your intuition, finding the sacred in solitude and deciphering the clues. Peace is achieved when everyone has quiet time (which is why we have time-outs for kids; not as a punishment but as a nourisher, without distraction!). Think of rest as a time to collect your thoughts away from the heat of the moment. Create a practice of meditation or nap time in the household. If you don't think this is really necessary, consider this: The biggest culprit of love gone awry is lack of personal space. In light of this, consider establishing sacred places for each partner be alone and recharge or rest. Privacy is also essential for feeing grounded and connected to your needs — which is exactly what the symbol of seven indicates.
Seven is also curious. It's the number of wonder and wander (think seven wonders of the world). How can you indulge your inner explorer? Learn a new skill or, if your budget allows, travel to Egypt to see the Pyramids. Seven encourages the discovery of what drives you. It is not about finding what you seek in someone else, rather looking beneath the surface of your boredom or disatisfaction. What inspires passion within you? Perhaps you make a list of everything that does, and have your partner do the same. Commit to supporting each other as you pursue a new adventure, like learning to tango or sky diving — either together or alone. The gesture can be big or small; the success of this endeavor really requires the belief and engagement in the magic.
Seven is also about nature. And you can best discover your true nature by exploring the great outdoors. Get outside and walk barefoot or listen to the birds. Nature is about rhythm and seasons or cyclical change; what can Mother Nature teach you about that in relation to your own life? It is a perfect year to take a spirit walk in whatever way makes sense to you, and bring more nurture and self-care into your everyday. Pay attention to your intuition and pamper yourself a little. Perhaps put fresh flowers on your desk or watch the sunset daily.
Seven demands that you find your roots in ritual, so embrace a personal ritual and get naked with your senses. Live by your desires and not by a manufactured to-do list. This magical number calls for clearing the clutter and eliminating what wears you down. It's a good year to rethink what you (and your partner, if you have one) are building and trim away anything that doesn't align with your deepest desires. Do you really want that big house... or will a simpler, spiritually richer life suffice? A commitment to minimizing with a scheduled day to hike in nature and explore new trails will bring so much peace and inner stillness to your relationships with yourself and with your partner.
Year seven is ultimately about freeing up your sense of self; knowing who you are and glorying in it. Invoke the magic and quiet that obnoxious itch, not by looking at your partner to complete you, but rather by enhancing what you both bring to your relationship.
If you need a little guidance to capture your magical 7 I invite you to sign up for my free ebook 3 ways to say no without being pushy or a pushover. After all, saying No to what you don't want is the first step to asking for what you do want.
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