Rejection or Blessing in Disguise?

Rejection or Blessing in Disguise?

Rejection or Blessing in Disguise?

Thumbnail: 
Dek: 
What we first may interpret as a rejection, could really be an opportunity for something better.

Rejection? Ouch!!! There is no point in trying to pretend that any one of us is immune from the sting.  Rejection can feel unpleasant, embarrassing, awkward and at times, completely devastating. It may crush our self-esteem or take us down a mental road of self-doubt, criticism and blame. Even for the most outwardly confident and self assured among us, it simply is not fun to feel rejected. In fact a sad truth is that very often the fear of rejection is what stops us from reaching our potential or going for what we really want in life. I have known people, who generally seem completely suave and confident, lose their nerve when it comes to approaching that one special person who really rocks their world. Perhaps the fear of rejection has stopped you from going for your dreams, applying for your dream job, or asking for other things that you really want.

 

Many of us have to wrestle with this potential "demon" on a regular basis. Some careers, like mine for example, are especially prone to challenge us in regard to how we deal with rejection.  If you are a service provider, an artist, a performer, in business for yourself, or in any line of work that involves selling a product or a service, then you probably know exactly what I am talking about. Today I am prepared to be transparent as I share with you a personal story of rejection, in the hopes that this may inspire you to perceive any potential rejection that comes your way in a better light; with a measure of grace, humor, and perhaps even some optimism. Yes, I know it may be hard to believe, but even "goddesses" have to deal with rejection, from time to time.

 

I think it is just human nature to want to be liked. We want to put our best face forward when we are meeting someone new. Especially if we are getting ready to go on a job interview, or perhaps meeting someone from an online dating site for coffee, which is a lot like a job interview if you think about it. Then if the coffee date goes well... who knows, maybe a "real" date.  I know that as a woman, getting ready to go on a first date with someone we think may be special is a really big deal. It might even involve shopping. We want to pick out the perfect outfit to accentuate our best features, and get our hair, nails and makeup just right. It can be a whole ritual that takes a few hours; trying on different outfits, figuring out just how to wear our hair; up, down, pulled back, falling softly around the face, curly, straight...  Although the typical man may not spend quite as much time as the typical woman, I imagine most thoughtful men put some time and effort into how they groom and dress themselves for an important first impression as well, and I think we all appreciate this extra effort. I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to look our best, and being on our best behavior. First impressions can be lasting and crucial! On the other hand, pretending to be someone we are not, or creating a fake personality is never a good plan.

 

If you have ever tried Internet dating, you may wonder if all common sense has been lost. Perhaps you have noticed that not everyone adopts a policy of honest self portrayal, which is really silly, if you hope to get past a first meet and greet with anyone. Are people simply in denial? Have they been avoiding looking directly into a mirror ever since they left high school? In their own distorted minds perhaps they still look and feel just like they did 10 or 15 years ago, or before they gained all those pounds. But I think mostly people just don't think far enough into the future when they choose a plan of action that involves misrepresentation.

This shortsightedness goes beyond using outdated pictures. In an effort to appear more interesting and exciting, people will sometimes make up phony careers or describe themselves as athletic when in reality they just like to watch sports on TV. People sometimes fain an interest in hobbies or activities that they don't really care anything about, all just to impress whomever they are meeting.  Even if it works at first, it will only lead to many more hours of having to fake it, until some point when you just can't take it any more, and either little by little or all at once, the truth comes out. The only really sane behavior is to be authentic and honest right from the beginning, even before a first date.

 

We need to be honest with ourselves first, and remember that what we really want and need is to attract people into our lives who will love and appreciate the real us, just as we are. Being really authentic often takes some practice and a healthy does of self confidence. However, once you get the hang of it, I believe you will notice that it really cuts out a lot of potential heartache and rejection. It also really helps you to attract like minded people who value the same things you do. However, even authentic gods and goddesses will experience rejection, at least every now and then, because this is part of real life. People will disappoint us at times, no matter what we do. We should not blame ourselves every time someone doesn't call or doesn't show up when they promised they would. Not everyone we interact with will be as evolved, clear and honest as we would like. Sometimes people just lie to save face, change their mind, or don't really know what they want to begin with.

Often times what we first may interpret as a rejection, is really dodging a bullet. I prefer a clear "no" over a disingenuous "yes" or a wishy washy "maybe" any day.  The