Look at that word “sexuality”….it’s fun and sensual all at the same time. It’s definition reveals that it is about more than the interest in sexual activity, but also includes sexual character. It appears that we are distinguished from one another by it. How much we all really understand about it, is dubious. Sex is powerful enough for someone to stop their entire focus in life to pursue, or at least be distracted by, a strong sexual impulse. Watching television might make one believe it is about breast augmentation. Breaking down sex to understand it and looking at it’s parts/or your partner’s parts for that matter, does not always bring a sense of understanding it’s power. So, what does it take to get in touch with or even have a sensibility about sexuality.
You can learn all you want. Sex messages are everywhere: “Accommodate your partner in order to get what you want”; “Men should control their sexuality”; “Men should flaunt their sex drives”; “Women should fake orgasms for their male partner”; “Women should expect to have orgasms easily and naturally without much stimulation”. You can read all you want from topics on tantric sex, full body and multiple orgasms, to erotic soothing or polyamorous relationships. Go for it.
….Then go full circle.
Fullcircle refers to finding the core of any life area and also finding your personal core truth. Once you read enough books on a particular topic, you come around to the same universal issues….with many of the same universal discoveries. Answer for yourself the who, what, when and wheres. Know your whys. Push the limits on understanding your sexuality. Then turn around to push the limits on understanding your partner’s. Not currently in a relationship? Discuss with a friend, recall past experiences, find ways to learn about that particular gender.
Some good questions to start this conditioning process are:
– How does that make me feel?
– Why do I like feeling that way?
– How does that make my partner feel?
– Why does my partner like feeling that way?
Something I often wonder about is how exactly do we all come around to our lovemaking habits? Cutting cords with our favorite storylines for sexual experiences (women being pursued, taken and ravished is one that comes to mind) and strictly knowing how our individual sexuality is actually expressed can be gratifying for all areas of our lives in and out of bed.
The conditions for your sex life are there because of the understanding you have of your personal sexuality more than anything else. Once there is this personal understanding, then all the messages about sexuality find their place for us indivdually. There are many ways to get to know our own sexuality intimately. You can begin by describing one of your most sensual memories such as camping out or eating a winter meal by a fire. Find out what sensuous experiences you derive the most pleasure from and what those feelings are like. This can have a snowballing effect where you may start out mildly sensing what matters to you then find it wakes you up to more sensual experiences and builds to a crescendo, intensifying your passions. Like good sex.
More Fullcircle articles and fun. =>> www.coachpack.com