5 Ways To Move Beyond An Affair


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Finding your way back from infidelity in five simple steps!

Did you find out your partner has been having an affair? You are devastated, heart-broken, lost all sorts of trust in your relationship; you are in disbelief. What are you going to do? Why You Should Never Fight When You're Furious

Dealing with betrayal in your marriage is not easy but it is definitely possible. Keep in mind that divorce is not always the solution to the problem. You need to find out what has led to the infidelity in your marriage and get the help needed to recover from the trauma. Let's look at some of the steps you can take to move beyond the affair and get your marriage back on track!

1) Understand The Affair. One of the most important aspects on the healing journey is that you come to an understanding of the affair. A lot of times, the reason your partner betrayed you had nothing to do with you at all.

It may have been his or her personal weakness that caused them to fall into temptation. This is not to say that you are perfect. There are always aspects of a marriage that can be improved or need to be worked on. It is important to know though what exactly the cause was so that you both can do whatever it takes to fix the problem.

2)  Know That You Are Not Alone. Remember that you are not the only one that has experienced a betrayal before. Sadly, many marriages go through infidelity, especially these days. At first, knowing you are not the only one may not really make you feel any better about all this but when time passes you will realize that it may be beneficial to talk to people that know what you have been through.  

Thankfully, there are plenty of support groups available that you can get in touch with others who have walked in your shoes. Don't Let Depression Rain On Your Relationship

3)  Get Help From A Professional. I can only recommend that you look for a professional that you can both work with to help recover from the affair and help you head down the right track with your marriage.

First of all, you will probably be extremely overwhelmed by everything you just found out. Maybe you do not even know what to think, where to start, what to do. A professional can walk along side you as the devastation is faced in your life. They will be able to sort out and make sense of all those overwhelming feelings and speak with the both of you to guide you step by step to get you moving toward recovery. 

4) Understand That Healing Takes Time. Keep in mind that healing takes time. Even if you seek help from a professional, things will not automatically go back to normal.  

The first step is working toward forgiveness. This may be the most important and yet the hardest step of all. When you can think back of the betrayal and not associate any pain with it anymore you know you have come to a place of peace. Understand, though, that coming to peace with the betrayal does not mean that you have fixed your marriage. Your marriage still needs to be worked on to strengthen the relationship and to build hedges to protect it from any future dangers.

5) Share Your Story. What a great way to continue your healing in long-term recovery. You can share your story and help someone else when you are in a better place with all that has occured in your marriage!  3 Ways To Overcome The Stress Of Infertility

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Janie Lacy


Janie Lacy

Relationship Expert

Janie Lacy, LMHC, NCC, CSAT is a frequent guest expert for local and national televison shows & she authors numerous blogs to give relationship advice to get individuals started on their journeys!

Connect with Janie Lacy through her COMPLIMENTARY Relationship and Marriage Advice newsletters!

Location: Maitland, FL
Credentials: LMHC, NCC
Specialties: Anger Management, Couples/Marital Issues, Infidelity / Affair Recovery
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