We've been told to believe that a soulmate is someone who meets our every wish and need when it comes to love. This definition, which represents similar definitions found online, reinforces our idealistic and naïve views:
"[Soulmate:] A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet — a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful."
More from YourTango: How Mistakes & Failures Lead To True Love
But the truth is, if you buy into this glossy, shiny definition of "soulmate," you'll miss out on experiencing the true meaning of being soulmates.
Soulmate Or Soulmates?
More from YourTango: 5 Ways To Get Out Of Your Dating Rut & Start Having Fun Again
You'll meet many soulmates in your lifetime. As you evolve, each partner meets you where you're at in life. A soulmate is someone with whom you can be yourself, but is not necessarily a perfect fit. A true soulmate is like a mirror, reflecting back to you the aspects within yourself that are holding you back from being your true self. A soulmate influences you to change yourself in order to be your best so that you can live the life you're meant to live.
When I was single, I considered myself a good catch and said I wanted to get married. But the truth is, I thought being married was like being trapped and controlled. I kept meeting good men, but who were non-committal, until one day when I met my current husband. He was the impetus for me to ask myself, "Which am I more committed to? Getting married or my fears about marriage?" After much reflection, I realized that I had been more committed to my fears as evidenced by the non-committal men I attracted. It was then that I began to learn and believe that marriage is a place of freedom and support. Keep reading...
More love advice from YourTango: