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Why You Judge Your Partner & How To Stop It

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how to stop judging your partner
Put your ego aside and work on loving him instead!
Your partner is your mirror. You judge things about him that you see in yourself.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." — Mother Teresa

"Negative judgments about others are unnecessary. We are all on our own journey and have our own lessons to learn." — Janet Ong Zimmerman

More from YourTango: How to Date Higher Quality Men

In the early stages of a relationship, it's easy to "fall in love" with your partner because he behaves and acts in ways that please you. He's most likely on his best behavior and showing his good side. As your relationship progresses though, you'll experience his other sides: quirky traits, behaviors, and actions that you wish were different. What was once endearing can become annoying or frustrating, which may lead to judgmental thoughts. 

Why We Judge Our Partners

Judging your partner negatively doesn't mean you're consciously trying to find fault with him. It just means you're being human. As a human being, you're hard-wired to judge others who you perceive to be different from you. So when your partner behaves differently from you, your judgmental nature may surface in many unsuspecting ways. Maybe you compare your husband or boyfriend unfavorably to other men, thinking you know better than him, trying to change him and not accepting him for who he is.

When you find yourself unintentionally judging your partner, you may notice that you don't feel as close or connected to him as you would like. This is because judging creates separation. The lesson here is to be aware of unsuspecting ways you're judging so that you judge less and are more accepting, compassionate and loving. 

5 Ways To Stop Judging Our Partners

More from YourTango: Open Your Heart to Gratitude

1. Realize everyone is doing their best. I believe that everyone is doing their best based on their life experiences and where they are in their life's journey. Most people would not consciously choose to do their worst. Even though it may not appear to be so, your partner is doing his best. Adopting this mindset will help open up the space in your mind to accept him. Keep reading...

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Janet Ong Zimmerman

Relationship Coach

Relationship Coach for Successful Women

Co-Author of International Best Seller "Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life"

Having a hard time finding success in love?  Take the Love Indicator Assessment. You'll receive a free 6-page report showing where you're at with love, the reasons you haven't found it yet and what you can do to immediately improve your love life.

For more dating and relationship support, join Love for Successful Women's Google Plus Community.

Ready for love?  Contact Janet at janet@loveforsuccessfulwomen.com or 949-278-4792.

Location: Irvine, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Janet Ong Zimmerman:

How to Date Higher Quality Men

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If you’ve been disappointed by the guys you’ve dated, I’d like you to know you can change your experience of dating for the better.  Instead of thinking the guys you meet are left up to chance or you have to wait to get chosen by a guy, you can influence the kind of men who show up in your life.  As a dating and relationship ... Read more

Open Your Heart to Gratitude

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Gratitude is magical. It has the power to transform your love life. When your heart is open, you have more meaningful connections with dates and partners, you think positively and feel good about yourself, and enjoy the ups and downs of your love life more. Opening your heart to gratitude lets you come from a place of abundance, helping you attract the kind of ... Read more

Infatuation Vs. True Love: Use Your Heart & Mind

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What is infatuation? Infatuation is like an innocent fantasy that we imagine to be love. It's when we're in love with the idea of love. It starts at a young age with "puppy love" or a crush on someone and continues into adulthood. Infatuation tends to happen when we're not in tune with reality; we see what we want to see and hear what ... Read more

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