Why You Judge Your Partner & How To Stop It

By

how to stop judging your partner
Your partner is your mirror. You judge things about him that you see in yourself.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." — Mother Teresa

"Negative judgments about others are unnecessary. We are all on our own journey and have our own lessons to learn." — Janet Ong Zimmerman

In the early stages of a relationship, it's easy to "fall in love" with your partner because he behaves and acts in ways that please you. He's most likely on his best behavior and showing his good side. As your relationship progresses though, you'll experience his other sides: quirky traits, behaviors, and actions that you wish were different. What was once endearing can become annoying or frustrating, which may lead to judgmental thoughts. 

Why We Judge Our Partners

Judging your partner negatively doesn't mean you're consciously trying to find fault with him. It just means you're being human. As a human being, you're hard-wired to judge others who you perceive to be different from you. So when your partner behaves differently from you, your judgmental nature may surface in many unsuspecting ways. Maybe you compare your husband or boyfriend unfavorably to other men, thinking you know better than him, trying to change him and not accepting him for who he is.

When you find yourself unintentionally judging your partner, you may notice that you don't feel as close or connected to him as you would like. This is because judging creates separation. The lesson here is to be aware of unsuspecting ways you're judging so that you judge less and are more accepting, compassionate and loving. 

5 Ways To Stop Judging Our Partners

1. Realize everyone is doing their best. I believe that everyone is doing their best based on their life experiences and where they are in their life's journey. Most people would not consciously choose to do their worst. Even though it may not appear to be so, your partner is doing his best. Adopting this mindset will help open up the space in your mind to accept him. Keep reading...

More love advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by

Janet Ong Zimmerman

Relationship Coach

Relationship Coach for Successful Women

Co-Author of International Best Seller "Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life"

Having a hard time finding success in love?  Take the Love Indicator Assessment. You'll receive a free 6-page report showing where you're at with love, the reasons you haven't found it yet and what you can do to immediately improve your love life.

For more dating and relationship support, join Love for Successful Women's Google Plus Community.

Ready for love?  Contact Janet at janet@loveforsuccessfulwomen.com or 949-278-4792.

Location: Irvine, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Janet Ong Zimmerman:

Why Courtship Is Better Than Dating: Let Yourself Be Wooed

By

Advancements in society have provided women with a newfound sense of financial freedom. Compared to 50 years ago, more women are buying their own home, paying their own bills, purchasing luxury items and treating themselves to nice vacations. The only problem is ... they can't buy love. If you're a successful woman in the world who is still ... Read more

Why You Should Never Settle For Less Than You Deserve

By

For some reason, people usually think that the older they get, the less chances there are for them to find their love. We're here to tell you that this couldn't be further from the truth! It doesn't matter if you've hit the 30, 40, or 50 benchmark; when it really comes down to it, rushing into dating someone just for the sake of having boyfriend ... Read more

Guess What? Rushing Into Bed Will Kill Your Love Life

By

For some reason, sex seems to be the first thing people worry about when it comes to relationships. There definitely used to be a time when people waited and didn’t feel pressured to rush things. With today's hookup culture, it's almost as if most people care less about making a connection and more about the superficial. Where did this sudden ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular