Are You Making This Mistake In Your Love Life?

By

Are You Making This Mistake In Your Love Life?
If you can avoid this one huge mistake, your dating life will improve dramatically.

I made this mistake throughout most of my dating life, as did most of my friends – in fact I think nearly all of us have. You see, I looked at dating as serving one purpose, and one purpose only: To start a relationship with a guy that I thought could be Mr. Right.

You're probably thinking right now "But that is the purpose of dating, right?" Well, yes and no.

 

Let me explain. Dating as the beginning of a relationship with your Mr. Right is one possible purpose of dating, but there are many other possible purposes of dating. For example, you can date just to get out of the house for a night. You can date to see if someone might turn into a friend. You can date for networking. You can date for practice – so that you're very comfortable being with a stranger for a couple of hours so when the real Mr. Right comes along you won't be nervous and uncomfortable during those critical first few dates.

To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want...and Deserve"

I know this all sounds obvious, but here's what's so hard for most of us – it's OK to look at dating this way. Most of us feel bad if we go on a date when we're not feeling that it will go anywhere - we feel like we're using him, or stringing him along, or wasting our own time. But it's actually the opposite - in fact, it's the best possible thing you can do to find your Mr. Right. And you're doing yourself and the guy a huge disservice by doing it any other way.

Stop taking it so seriously.

What I never understood about dating is that it’s not about searching. It’s not about the hunt. It’s about enjoying life. It’s about enjoying spending some time with another person that may or may not turn out to be our life partner. But it doesn’t matter, because it’s not about that. It’s about having fun. It’s about learning how to be comfortable with another person you don't know very well. It's about trying different people on for size. It's about getting to know people who you might not think of as your type.

Break away from your type.

Yes, I too thought it was all about the search. All about finding the one. All about finding true love. And so it became the point of everything. The entirety on which my whole dating life was based. And with that kind of mindset I missed the entire point of what dating is really about. In fact, like nearly all of us, I would only go out with a guy if I felt a connection, that chemistry, first!

Why? Because I thought that if I didn't feel that chemistry from the beginning, if I didn't think he might be the guy I would spend the rest of my life with, then why bother? I didn't want to waste my time.

What I didn't realize was that I actually was wasting my time. I was wasting my time going out with the same type of guy, over and over and over again. And finding out he wasn't the guy for me over and over and over again. I was stuck in that mode of falling for a certain type of guy, and I just couldn't get out of it.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:
10 Ways Men Show Affection
5 Ways To Be On Cloud 9 About Your Love Life!
25 Ways To Uniquely Say 'I Love You'

This article was originally published at Getting to True Love . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Jane Garapick

Dating Coach

Jane Garapick knows firsthand what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. She writes about adventures on the rocky road to finding Mr. Right at her website www.gettingtotruelove.com.
 

To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want...and Deserve"

You can also follow her on Twitter @JaneGarapick and "like" her page on Facebook

Location: Bellingham, WA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Jane Garapick:

Want To Smile More? Say "I Do" To Your Life Right Now.

By

Human beings are social creatures, and we're wired to feel more secure when we're part of a group. There's no better way to feel this security than by being in a long-term relationship. So while we can recognize on a purely conscious level that we don't need a committed partner in order to be happy, the truth is that a desire for long term ... Read more

He Said, She Said: How Do I Get My Partner To Open Up?

By ,

Want to get your partner to open up to you emotionally so you can deepen your bond and enhance your intimacy? Some words and phrases can push your partner away, while others can bring you closer together as a couple. Men and women, having some major communication differences, tend to respond to different words and phrases. "She said," from Jane ... Read more

Ladies, Your Career Is Ruining Your Love Life

By

Are you a smart, attractive and successful career woman, but find yourself frustrated that you can't get many dates? And those that you do get don't seem to turn into second or third dates, much less a ring on your finger? Well, you're not alone and new research suggests that it's not your fault you're eating your meals alone in front of ... Read more

See More

 
PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular