Lasting love always leaves clues.
It's been a few dates and the guy you're with wants to do something you're not comfortable doing unless you're in a relationship with him.
When you explain this to him, he magically disappears, leading you to believe that he's an uncommitted jerk, which may be true or not.
However, it's not what you say to him, but about how you say it.
When you throw out the word "relationship" too soon, men freeze.
If there's going to be a relationship, it has to be his idea. A relationship is something that happens over time and shared experiences. It's not something you can ask for, but something that you have.
Look at your female friends. Did you ever ask them to be in a relationship with you?
Even after a few dates, the truth is you're not ready for a relationship with him. What you are ready for is getting to know him better.
If he's ready but you're not ready to do something (for example: sex), use this formula.
First, let him know what you like about him and how much you enjoy being with him. Then, say, "However, I don't feel comfortable. I don't want to have sex until I know you better. What do you think?"
If not, then also good news! You won't be wasting your time talking about having a relationship with someone who doesn't care about your feelings.
It's rare you have to ask a man if you're in a relationship because it usually means that you're not.
Actions speak louder than words, especially when it comes to men. A man who's willing to get to know you and who cares about your feelings is a man who wants a relationship that lasts — the right way.
James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you're a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men's secrets in A Life of Love.
This article was originally published at jamesallenhanrahan.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.