Why The Love Yourself First Myth Doesn't Work


Why The Love Yourself First Myth Doesn't Work
Getting ready to be in a relationship? Find out what it really takes to love yourself first.

One of the greatest myths of our time is the love yourself first myth. This along with perfection kept me single a long time... The advantage to working on loving yourself first is you don't have to deal with anyone else. The disadvantage is we don't love alone we have to be reflected. Don't get me wrong if I had the time I would love to spend a few more years working on loving myself first... I'm just not willing to be alone that long.

Babies don't come into the world saying great I'm here let's start working on loving myself. Their self love comes as natural to them as breathing. The confirmation comes by being reflected by others. If you weren't reflected by people who love themselves you may doubt your natural right to be, think, feel and share your way... Read A Life Of Love. We don't learn to love it's contagious we catch it by being around loving people. Watch the controversial video link below.


Video link: Learn To Love Yourself First Myth: How We Catch Contagious Love

There was never coming a day when I would be completely ready to be with my wife. I had no idea what I needed until I got in the game. When people say to me James I'm not dating right now I'm working on loving myself I say that's great there is a time and place for everything and as soon as you can start dating because if you want a relationship you will need the practice. You learn what you need to know by the anxiety of doing it. Then get coaching to help you walk through it. You don't have to do it alone.

What does it really take to be in a relationship? It takes risk. We take a risk on people. Start small with baby steps. See if they can make and keep their agreements. The only way you know you love yourself or anyone else is by the agreements you're willing to make and keep. Men make 7 agreements when they commit these 7 agreements are foundational to every relationship and they are what makes or breaks your relationship with a guy. If you don't know them watch Chemistry To Commitment.

Confidence and self love come from doing. The way out of any negative feeling is a positive decision followed by action or inaction as soon as possible... Read A Life Of Love. Is it important to love yourself? Yes. Can we do it alone? No. In my experience love wants you as much as you want it. You're as ready as you need to be for the right person for right now. You are perfect just the way you are. We are always a work in progress. You are always with the right person, at the right time, bringing you the right lesson.

Much love,


P.S. Take this action step. Sign in and watch the video from http://chemistrytocommitment.com

P.P.S. Watch How To Know You Have Chemistry In 30 Seconds.

This article was originally published at http://www.jamesallenhanrahan.com/. Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

James Allen Hanrahan

Relationship Coach

I work with professional alpha women and the men who love them. Smart, successful people with an on going war between their head and their heart which makes it difficult to have lasting, loving relationships. Welcome.

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Thank you James!
I just went out with a guy who is just the way you described it (feminine energy man), and was such a turn off! He started as a ten and as you mentioned, he did not give me any material, nor protected me (he actually crashed his bike against mine and I fell off the ground), and he cares about his feelings, not mine. So even though he seems like an amazing guy (in so many other areas), all these things put together were such a turnoff! And he keeps himself poor! Jees...Thank you for putting it in such a clean cut way!

 Do you give too much?  Do you have trouble receiving? When you understand what to say and how to say it to a man you will attract and keep the man you want to be with for the rest of your life. Having been alone for many years I know how painful and frustrating it can be not to know why or what to do or say. 

However as a result of what I want to share with you I'm now happily married. It's been a long journey and I want the same for you because in the end love is all that matters. It's possible and you deserve to be loved for who you are inside. Contact me and find your way back to love from the "Inside out Outside in"..

Much love,




Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
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