Do you have all three?
Deal breakers are a poor way of looking for a relationship. Focusing on what you don't want inevitably leads you into getting more of what you don't want. The subconscious does not recognize the word "don't". For example, don't imagine there's a blue parrot on your shoulder.
Are there deal breakers? Absolutely! However, focusing on them is putting the cart before the horse.
In order to have a successful relationship, you need these 3 must have's:
Laughing isn't just good for you, it's essential. The ability to laugh with someone is a foundational indicator of connection.
People who laugh together stay together. It's a tremendous source of endorphins and feeling happy and good with someone is a key to longevity and happiness.
This one is easy to underestimate especially when you're very attracted to someone however if you're not laughing chances are you're also not being yourself.
2. Financial stability.
You can't get far being broke or being with someone who is broke. Mountains of debt place tremendous strains on relationships. How people handle their finances is how they treat everything.
Having financial compatibility early on leads to having a partner you can build with later. People who treat themselves well and are relaxed financially have the ability to treat you well.
3. Personal reliability.
The only way you know you love yourself or anyone else is by the commitments you're willing to make and keep, not to a finite fallible human being but to the relationship with a finite fallible human being (watch Chemistry to Commitment to see the 7 agreements men make when they commit).
The reason my wife and I are still together was that early on, we agreed to not give up. I can't tell you how profound this simple agreement was.
Laughter will keep your connection and get you through the hard times. Financial stability will give you a foundation to build on. Personal reliability in your making and keeping agreements is a way of life and a great must have you will enjoy for a lifetime.
Put them all together and you have 3 keys to a successful relationship.
James Allen Hanrahan is a dating relationship coach in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula.