Things can be tough if you're a female over forty and trying to find love. Statistically, your pool of great available men is shrinking. There's a number of reasons for this, from higher rates of male homosexuality to the fact that men die younger than women ... and all the reasons inbetween (like men dating younger women), that we don't like to discuss. It can feel frustrating, but amazing men are out there! Dating online is a great way to level the playing field and jump ahead. Why? Because statistically, you move back into favorable territory.
Most women do a very poor job of dating online. Women make the following three mistakes over and over again:
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- They're nit-picky about the wrong things on men's profiles;
- they're portraying themselves incorrectly on their own profile;
- and they're giving up way too easily!
So, what should you be picky about while evaluating a man's profile?
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- Check the important things like age, life stage, child compatibilities, religion, location and core values. Men are often not open about their occupation or income because they're just as uncomfortable about being chosen for those reasons as you are about being picked out on account of your bra size.
- Try to remain reasonably open when it comes to grammar and spelling, because you aren't hiring him to do your written correspondance for you.
- Also, be open about height, appearance (men are bad about posting decent photos), education (think Bill Gates) and what you believe their profile "implies." Men aren't subtle. They typically say it how it is. Read their profiles at face value, nothing more. Then, give them a chance in person.
Through the communication stage, remain true to your gut feelings as it pertains to safety and red flag behaviors. Excessive anger, whining or complaining (negativity) in emails is a bad sign. Keep yourself in check with that also. I recommend three emails and one phone call before setting up that first date.
As it pertains to your own profile, your number one investment should be professional dating photos, not a professional headshot. I can give you a litany of photo dos and don'ts through my coaching service. Trust me, that there's nothing more important than putting your personal, honest, best foot forward in your photographs. You must have one full body shot on your profile, or he'll click right by you. What's Your Attachment Style?