5 Conversations You Should Not Have On The First Date

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5 Conversations You Should Not Have On The First Date
Saying the wrong things can turn your date off and sabotage your chances of finding Mr. Right.

So have you ever been on date with a guy and all of a sudden he says something that makes you say “That’s Crazy!” I mean seriously… the conversation can be going so well and unfortunately, it goes south because one of you says something that the other finds unattractive.

I can honestly say that I have been on both sides of the fence when it comes to this topic. There have been times where I have really been digging my date and he says something so off the wall that turns me completely off. There have also been times where I have said things that weren’t exactly appropriate for the early stages of the dating process.

Honesty is trait that we all look for in a mate but sometimes, I think that we tend to tell a little too much too soon. Guys… There is a time and place for every conversation and if you are on a quest to become a “good” dater, you have to learn the boundaries of discussion.

I always advise my daters on the "3 Date Rule”. This means you should go on 3 dates with a person and focus on building chemistry before you start divulging the sordid details of your past. I am not suggesting that you be dishonest or put up a front for your date. If they ask you question, by all means you should have an answer, but if the discussion does not come up, you might want to save that conversation until you feel that there is the potential for the relationship to move forward.

Here are 5 topics that should be off limits until after the 3rd date:

1. Your Type

So you have started dating and you have decided to try outside the box. This is a good thing because you are opening yourself up to possibilities that you may have missed out on in the past by sticking to a particular type of guy. I am a big fan of being adventurous when it comes to dating, but you do not have to relay this information to your date.

I suggest that you steer clear of statements like “I usually don’t date guys like you” or “You’re not the type of guy I usually go for”. It can create all types of ideas in your dates head and make them question whether or not they measure up to your standards. Dating is hard enough without having to deal with miscommunications. This conversation can take you on a path that your mouth may not be ready to handle effectively.

Instead, you should stick to phrases like “I find you intriguing” or “You seem like an interesting guy”. That way to conversation begins on a positive note and your brain is conditioned to communicate your dates “uniqueness” in a positive manner.

2. Anything Related To Past Relationships

Keep this stuff to yourself. Your date does not need to know how good or how dirty your ex did you. He also doesn’t need to know if you have cheated on a past mate or anything else surrounding your previous relationships.

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J. Cameron Gantt

Dating Coach

J. Cameron Gantt is a Certified Life Coach and Matchmaker for Insti(Gay)tor, The Exclusively Gay Matchmaking Agency. He is a featured contributor for various dating and relationship websites offering expert advice on GLBT dating and relationships.
 

Connect with J. Cameron at www.instigaytor.com and receive his FREE E-Gude “3 Secrets To Attract More Dates!”

 


 

Location: Chicago, IL
Credentials: CPC
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