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Yes you can!
By Lisa S. Lawless — Written on Oct 25, 2016
Many people still think female ejaculation — commonly known as "squirting" — is a myth because of conflicting information provided by uneducated “sexperts” out there.
The truth is that it is real, and something that all women are able to do.
You may have asked yourself what squirting is and how women do it. After all, there are porn videos that show women squirting out lots of fluid that varies in consistency and color. There are also some people who claim only certain, special women can do it (which is total B.S.), and others who claim it can only be done by women who follow a pelvic floor exercise regiment (also known as Kegel exercises), which is also not true.
The true answer is that female ejaculate is a clear, sweet smelling liquid. When a woman ejaculates/squirts, not a whole lot of fluid actually comes out.
If you see a video where it looks like a woman is squirting something resembling milk, it's most likely the porn actress literally douched with milk and is then pretending to ejaculate. Porn involves special effects, after all. Just like mainstream movies.
If a woman experiences squirting with large amounts of fluid coming out, there are three possibilities as to what may be happening:
1. She may be expelling urine.
2. She may be expelling urine mixed with ejaculate.
3. She may be expelling fluid leftover from retrograde female ejaculation — ejaculate that had previously been "pushed back up into the bladder when the muscles [tightened] post-climax."
To understand where female ejaculation comes from, it is important to understand female anatomy.
This is something that was long ignored by those in the medical profession because, you know … misogyny.
Apparently women’s sexual functioning was simply there to please a man and give birth. Why would anyone need to better want to understand the sexual functioning of a woman for any other reason right? Ugh! Moving along…
Understanding female ejaculation is really quite easy when you understand a couple of basic things:
- The fluid that women squirt is pretty much like prostate fluid from a man.
- It comes from the Skenes’s glands, also known as the female prostate.
- The ducts of the female prostate drain out of two openings that surround the urethra (where urine comes out).
- These female prostate glands run up into and create what is known as the G-spot, which, is found about 1.5-2 inches (3.8-5 cm) along the upper wall of the vagina.
But Wait! Do All Women Have A G-spot?
Yazzzz! Here is the deal. You have to understand why so many people are confused about whether all women have a G-spot in the first place. So let’s take a moment to better understand why so many people are in the dark on this.
Now that you know about the Skenes’s glands which make up the G-spot, you should also know that some women not only have smaller glands, but less of them than others. In addition, some women have them located a little closer to the vaginal wall, while others have them located deeper in the vaginal walls.
The G-spot feels like a little-swollen nub inside the vaginal wall, located on the top and about 1-3 inches inside.
So, if a woman has large glands in both number and size, as well as having them closer to the vaginal wall, then you will feel the G-spot more easily. If a woman has a smaller number of glands, they are smaller in size, and/or they are located deeper in the tissue of the vaginal walls, it will be harder to feel it.
That my friends is why some people think that not all women have a G-spot — just because haven't yet been able to find or feel it.
However, it gets even more juicy when we delve into female sexual arousal, because the Skene’s glands fill up with prostate-like fluid when a woman is sexually aroused, making her G-spot even more pronounced and more easily able to be found. If a woman is not aroused it may be more difficult to locate the G-spot, and this is even more challenging if the not-aroused woman has a smaller number of glands, smaller sized glands, and/or it is located deeper inside the vaginal wall.
So, think about it like this … Do you find getting a PAP smear a highly sexual experience?
Is a pelvic exam or vaginal exam by your doctor loads of sexual fun? No?! Well, join the club!
Most women do NOT find medical exams sexually arousing, but rather, more like a grit-your-teeth-and-get-this-crap-over-with-as-soon-as-possible experience!
Considering that the Skene’s glands require a woman be sexually aroused to fill up and become more easily able to be found, it is no wonder so many doctors could not find them on so many women. Especially on women who have a smaller number of glands, smaller glands, and/or glands was deeper inside the vaginal wall.
Duh!
Now that we've established that all women are capable of squirting, here are 8 simple steps to making it happen:
1. Relax.
Make sure that you have an environment that will be relaxing and will allow for an erotic adventure to take place. You will also want to be sure you have plenty of time to really let go, and not feel rushed.
2. Empty your bladder from all urine, expel gas or defecate if you need to.
Most women don’t ejaculate because we tend to clench down to prevent ourselves from peeing, pooping or passing gas during sex. If you have an empty bladder and colon, you can more confidently push the fluid out. Yes, you may push some urine out out at the same time you are pushing female ejaculate out, so it is why it is helpful to be sure to empty your bladder before sex if you want to avoid that.
3. Place something waterproof underneath you.
Laying down on a waterproof throw of a shower curtain placed under a towel, will help you to release any potential concern about wetting or spoiling your sheets and linens.
4. Find a comfortable position.
Many women find it easier to experience female ejaculation when lying on their back with their thighs pressed upward against their abdomen (knees against the rib cage).
5. Stimulate the clitoris.
This will awaken arousal within your vagina.
6. Introduce a shaft-like object such as a finger, dildo, or G-spot stimulator.
Use this to stimulate and massage the Skenes/Paraurethral glands within the G-spot. Stimulating the G-spot may cause you to begin to feel the need to urinate. Don't fight this urge if you want to ejaculate. Let it continue to build as you relax, taking deep breaths and allowing the sexual excitement and feeling of needing to urinate to build.
Remember that you have emptied your bladder so that ejaculate is what will be coming out, not urine.
7. Think positive, sexy thoughts.
Make sure to allow yourself to enjoy the sensations. Don't try to rush to the female ejaculation goal. The more you build your sexual excitement, the more liquid will be expelled upon release.
And don't get caught up in pressuring yourself to do this. Assure yourself that this may take practice and time. This is all healthy, normal behavior, and there is nothing to be afraid of whether or not it happens this time.
8. As you feel your orgasm building, go with it.
You will want to stay relaxed and allow your body to take you over the edge.
When you are at the height of your orgasm, relax your bladder and bear down and push hard, as if you were moving a bowel movement with force, or giving birth to a child.
Usually, this is when the gush of fluid will pass out of you. Sometimes during this moment, you can get so caught up in the release that you may not even be aware of the fluid coming out of you, or to what degree it is coming out.
The fluid passing through your urethra will initially feel exactly like it does when you start to pee. The reflex to stop peeing will immediately stop the ejaculation, so it is important to relax and allow the fluid to pass through.
If you do squirt, you will most likely feel a more intense release than ever before. Voila!
Once you have achieved female ejaculation, keep in mind this does not have to be the end of the sexual experience ...
Continue onward and have as many multiple orgasms and ejaculations as you'd like to with further sexual play.
Author Lisa S. Lawless. Ph.D. has been teaching female ejaculation techniques to women and couples for over sixteen years, along with such helpful information as which sex toys work best for squirting, types of sexual waterproof throws and more. She is the founder and C.E.O. of Holistic Wisdom, Inc. which provides sexual health and wellness education, resources and products. She is also, founder of the National Association for the Advancement of Science & Art in Sexuality (NAASAS) which is an educational organization for sexual health professionals.
