Online Dating In The Toad Kingdom [EXPERT]

I'm often asked why I speak of toad kissing when the fairy tale clearly speaks of kissing frogs. The answer is quite simple. You see, all toads are frogs but not all frogs are toads. In the online dating world as well as in nature, toads are the fat, yucky frogs. Other types of frogs are only green and slimy - sometimes even slim, well-kept, and sort of cute. And in the online dating world as well as in nature, all toads are always gross.

When you kiss the right frog, as the fairy tale goes, he may verily turn into that handsome prince. But a toad will always be a toad, and toads carry warts in a variety of strains and severity, but all warts just the same.  20,000 people join Match.com everyday. At least half are new toads in the online dating pond every day. 12 Common Online Dating Mistakes EXPERT

The real trick to navigating through the citizens of the Toad Kingdom is learning to recognize the difference as quickly as possible. This isn't easy, but it is necessary to make sure that he doesn’t get close enough to kiss you. Keep in mind that we’re all frogs to some of the citizens in the online dating world - statistically this cannot be avoided.  

Here are 5 simple ways to distinguish the frogs from the toads when dating online:

1. Toads Lurk. If a guy keeps viewing your online dating profile but never communicates, he is probably a toad. The frogs (future princes) of the Toad Kingdom will either communicate or move on - instead of quietly lingering around long enough to make you feel stalked or violated.

2. Toads contradict themselves early and often. Read their profiles to look for inconsistencies. If he claims to be fun-loving but his personal essay seems hostile, this is a good indication he is a toad. The frogs' words will match their intentions. -  what you see is what you get.

3. Toads don't respect your boundaries. If the man insists on moving to phone or face-to-face before you’re comfortable, let’s hear it ladies....TOAD. The right guys will want you to feel comfortable and they will move at your pace. 10 Ways to Build and Preserve Boundaries

4. Toads ask you out before they ask about you. If the man suggests a date in his first email to you, you can believe that he cut and paste that same email invitation to at least 4 other women that day. Frogs and princes will at least toss out a, "Seen any good movies lately...” conversation to hop in the pond.

5. Toads are sexually aggressive in early communications. If he’s asking you about your sexual preferences before a first or second date … Run! He should be on bedmedownandleavemedirty.com instead of on a credible dating site.

While completely wart-proofing yourself is improbable, sticking to a few simple guidelines will help you to kiss far fewer toads on your way through dating online and into his arms. And honestly, meeting a couple of frogs along the way is half the fun of online dating.