Online Dating 3-Step Wink Management: Stop, Drop & Roll [EXPERT]

You’ve just joined that Online Dating Site you promised in your New Year’s Resolutions, huh? You’re in your Match.com account, and you are surfing through all of the yummy and not so yummy profiles. All of a sudden...

WINK!

Score! Some gorgeous guy just sent you a wink - but you don’t know yet if he is of the frog or toad variety. Whoa there. Don’t do anything hasty.  As cute as he may be, looks can be deceiving.

In my earliest searches for Happily Ever After, I returned  quite a few random winks only to be disappointed to learn later on that the man was a toad. I knew I had to choose between winking and emailing, I just didn’t know what meant what.  Can you relate?

For the uninitiated, the wink is a first socially acceptable and benign but flirty contact between the citizens of the online dating community or as I love to call it, the Toad Kingdom. It is a way for men and women both to avoid rejection as well as get a pulse on the other person’s interest.

Once you know how to separate the frogs from the toads, the wink  also becomes a girl’s best friend. Use this power wisely,  and you’ll have a lot more fun with your online dating experience.

I wasted precious time and energy kissing toads because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings and just go home.  The good news?  I may just be able to save you from a few warty kisses.  Here’s your action plan:

Stop - Drop - Roll: A 3 Step Wink Management Plan

The Scene:  You open your computer and someone has WINKED at you:

1. Stop thinking about how cute he is and start looking at who he claims to be - the essay, the details. Profiles without pictures are a much different discussion for the more seasoned citizens of the Toad Kingdom, but the generally accepted principle - No pic, no chance. So he won your attention with his photos - but don’t jump in just yet.  Take your time.  Make yourself wait an hour.  

2. Drop into his Match profile and see if he meets your key criteria.
   1. Non-smoker? Nope - says he’s a smoker. Doesn’t work for me.
   2. Likes Kids?     Yes, but my kids don’t need to be  around the smoke.
   3. Witty little personal essay? Sure - he’s got spunk, but the above are deal breakers.

The right step  - move on.  Don’t waste your time if being around a smoker sends your asthma into a flare. And if you try to politely decline every guy who winks your direction - you’ll start to mistakenly wink back even at SPAM.