Relationship Fix: How To Put The Spark Back In Your Relationship


Relationship Fix: How To Put The Spark Back In Your Relationship
Don't fall into a slum and forget about the person you fell in love with in the first place.

As a relationship coach who helps couples decide whether they should makeup or break up, I've encountered my fair share of stale, boring and spark-less partnerships. In my experience, the couple is usually still in love, but their relationship feels flat and they're living more like roommates than lovers. Luckily, there's an easy relationship fix to put the spark back in your relationship and that is mastering the art of seeing your man through the eyes of your friends.

Here's the deal: when you're around your man every single day, obviously his annoying habits are what stick out to you most and get under your skin. But this isn't what your friends see when you join them for dinner and drinks. Instead, they see the fun loving guy you fell in love with. The charming one who's making people laugh, telling hilarious stories and going to the bar to get everyone drinks. Or maybe they see the consummate gentleman who's pulling out your chair, opening car doors and making everyone feel included.


In order to see your guy through your friends eyes you need to go out as a couple more! Start by inviting other couples out to dinner, or include him in your plans with your girlfriends. By being out in the world together, you'll gain a fresh perspective on how great your guy is and how lucky you are to have him.

If your schedule is so crazy that you can't get out and socialize for a while, you can still recapture the guy you fell in love with by calling your close girlfriends and explaining the situation. Tell them you're feeling down about your relationship and it would really help if they could tell you a few things that they like and admire about your guy. Another idea is to commit to seeing only his positive qualities for one whole day. Ignore all of his annoying habits and just focus on why you fell in love with him in the first place. I'm not saying it will be easy, but I promise it will be worth it.

For more practical and proven relationship advice, check out and catch up with me on Facebook!

More relationship advice from YourTango:

This article was originally published at Make Up or Break Up. Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Heather Baker

Life Coach

Promise Me That You Won't Stop Looking Until You Find The Things That Really Matter

-K Cerulean

Location: San Francisco, CA
Credentials: BA, CPC, ELI-MP
Other Articles/News by Heather Baker:

5 Quick Steps To Get Over A Breakup


Whether he broke up with you or you're the one who ended the relationship, breaking up genuinely sucks. The end of a romantic relationship is a very real painful loss and it's going to take time for you to fully recover. That being said, there are ways you can get over a breakup more quickly — and surprisingly they all involve embracing the ... Read more

Are You A Critical Kathy? If So, Here’s How To Stop


How do you respond to your partner when he does something that annoys you? For example, let’s say you come home from work after an incredibly long day at the office to find that your man is already asleep, and there’s a sink full of dirty dishes that aren’t going to wash themselves. How do you respond? Do you talk to your man about it? Do you ... Read more

Would Your Husband Marry You Again? Why The Answer May Be No


A few weeks ago I was in the middle of a coaching session with a male client when he said the unthinkable: "If I met my wife today I wouldn’t marry her." Ouch. His brutally honest comment stuck with me long after our session ended, and got me thinking about the ways people in relationships change throughout the years. Oftentimes ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular