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Daydreaming About Divorce: Harmless Habit or Warning Sign


You may not admit to daydreaming about divorce even if you have this secret fantasy.

Daydreaming about divorce isn’t something many women will openly admit to, but it’s something that happens nonetheless. And whether your particular fantasy is a daydream about starting over on your own or running away with another man who you can’t stop thinking about, you need to know that these daydreams are not as harmless as you think. In fact, if you’re not careful, these fantasies about divorce can very quickly send you down a slippery slope toward actual divorce.

How? Well, let’s say your daydreams about running away with your sexy neighbor are causing you to treat your man poorly because you’re convinced you can do better. Or your fantasy about starting over on your own in a new city is causing you to stop trying so hard to save your marriage. In both of these cases your daydreams aren’t harmless fantasies. They’re causing very real, very tangible damage to your relationship.

If you want your marriage to work, you have to put an end to these fantasies once and for all. Here are three ways you can stop the daydreams organically and without much effort, simply by learning how to be grateful for the life and man you already have:

#1. Be appreciative of your husband for the man he is.

Instead of fantasizing about the ideal man who may or may not exist, really look at your husband. What does he do that other men don’t do? Is he more than happy to help you with the laundry when your schedule is crazy and you just can’t get around to it? Does he enjoy cooking you gourmet dinners “just because”? Is he generally a happy, good-natured man? Does he let you be you? Can you trust him? Does he love you? Not every man does these things, so if you have a guy who does, don’t throw him away for a fantasy. Instead, tell him how you feel. Verbalize how grateful you are for all that he does.

#2. Give yourself a reality check.

Daydreams aren’t real. Period.

They’re a fantasy of the best case scenario, but how often in life are we given the absolute best case scenario? For example, let’s say you’ve been daydreaming about leaving your husband and starting over as a single woman in a gorgeous two-bedroom apartment in the city. What would happen to your fantasy if you knew that the reality of that choice would mean living in a cockroach-infested shoebox in an unsafe neighborhood? Or if you’ve been daydreaming about running away with your sexy financial advisor, would that fantasy come crashing down if you knew he’s an alcoholic who never wants to get married?

#3. Start to fall in love with your spouse again.

There’s no better way to fall in love with your spouse again than to start dating him again! To get started, plan some unique activities for the two of you to experience together, like a road trip, a cooking class, or a beer-tasting tour. If you need your husband to put in more effort, pinpoint what you need and ask for it. For example, maybe it’s been years since he’s taken you on a proper romantic date. Without criticizing or blaming him, tell him you miss those evenings together, and ask him to plan something special for the two of you to do this weekend.

And perhaps most importantly, when you’re on this date with your husband, push the fantasies out of your head and be in the moment. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy him. Be open to the possibility of falling in love with your husband again.

I want to hear from you! Do you think daydreaming about divorce is a harmless habit or a warning sign of marriage trouble? Let me know what you think in the comment box below!

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