5 Quick Steps To Get Over A Breakup


5 Quick Steps To Get Over A Breakup
Struggling with a breakup or having a hard time dealing with the sadness and anger?

Whether he broke up with you or you're the one who ended the relationship, breaking up genuinely sucks. The end of a romantic relationship is a very real painful loss and it's going to take time for you to fully recover. That being said, there are ways you can get over a breakup more quickly — and surprisingly they all involve embracing the sadness and feeling the pain. Here are five sure-fire steps to get over a breakup as quickly as possible, so you can move on with your life and find someone even better:

Step #1. Let Yourself Be Sad
The first thing you need to do is let yourself feel sad. Don't try to skip over the painful part of the breakup by putting on a brave face that won't work, because that's how you get stuck in the grieving process for months, even years. You won't get over the breakup until you face those emotions, so do what you want. Close the blinds, call a girlfriend, watch sad movies, and cry your eyes out. Get a massage, eat comfort foods, and commit to feeling sad instead of trying to repress your emotions that's key.


Step #2. Set An End Date For The Sadness
Next, you need to set a clear end date for the sadness, like two weeks from now. And when that date comes, you need to open up the blinds, retire the sad movies, and get back to your normal routine. Of course, you may still feel sad from time to time that's totally normal, but you won't be walking around in your sweats eating ice cream out of the carton anymore. It's important to set a goal in mind, it gets you off the couch and back into the real world. 

Step #3. Lean Into The Anger
Once the sadness starts to die down, your emotions will often naturally progress to anger. That's when it's time to lean into it and get moving! Look for opportunities to release your anger in a physical way, like at the batting cages, a boxing class, or the gym. This is also a great time to start journaling about all the ways the relationship wasn't working and how your ex wasn't showing up for you. It helps to look back and realize the breakup was a good thing.

Step #4. Rebuild Your Self-Esteem
After a breakup, there's always a period of time when you don’t feel like your best self. Your self-esteem takes a huge hit whenever a relationship ends.  So at this point it’s really important to surround yourself with people who think you’re utterly amazing. Whether those people are your girlfriends, coworkers, sister, or parents, spend time with people who knew you before your breakup, and know you after, they’re the ones who have always supported you no matter what.

Step #5. Get Control Over Your (Obsessive) Thoughts 
After a breakup, your brain has a tendency to become your worst enemy. You may catch yourself obsessively thinking things like:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Heather Baker

Life Coach

Promise Me That You Won't Stop Looking Until You Find The Things That Really Matter

-K Cerulean

Location: San Francisco, CA
Credentials: BA, CPC, ELI-MP
Other Articles/News by Heather Baker:

Are You A Critical Kathy? If So, Here’s How To Stop


How do you respond to your partner when he does something that annoys you? For example, let’s say you come home from work after an incredibly long day at the office to find that your man is already asleep, and there’s a sink full of dirty dishes that aren’t going to wash themselves. How do you respond? Do you talk to your man about it? Do you ... Read more

Would Your Husband Marry You Again? Why The Answer May Be No


A few weeks ago I was in the middle of a coaching session with a male client when he said the unthinkable: "If I met my wife today I wouldn’t marry her." Ouch. His brutally honest comment stuck with me long after our session ended, and got me thinking about the ways people in relationships change throughout the years. Oftentimes ... Read more

Will Separate Vacations Save Your Marriage Or Destroy It?


Can separate vacations keep your marriage hot or save it from divorce? As a relationship coach to couples who are on the brink of divorce, I say the answer is yes! Stepping out of the couple dynamic and having your own experiences is an amazing way to breathe new, sexy life into your marriage. You'll each come back from your respective vacations with new, ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular