I was one rejection away from asking my husband if he'd like to change our Facebook status to "lifelong roommates." But thankfully, Google calendar swooped in with its alarms, sharing functions and color-coded reminders, and saved us. Our new solution? We have newly scheduled weekly marriage appointments, and it has made such a difference in our relationship.
If this sounds forced, technical and unromantic, you probably haven't been married long enough. It totally works. You see, my husband and I have very different definitions of love. What makes me feel loved: strong hands on my neck, a kiss in the kitchen, therapist-quality validation skills, and lots of shared adventures. What makes my husband feel loved: balancing the budget, reading multi-layered spreadsheets about the budget together, discussing our financial goals, and therapist-quality validation skills.
We're not totally different. We both like to be heard and understood. We both love giving gifts and doing nice things for each other, but when it comes to our love languages, we really diverge. For the most part, my love language is about physical touch, and his is about feeling like a financial team. In other words, I feel loved when he admires me physically, he feels loved when I admire his great big, gorgeous spreadsheets.
The irony is, I can read minds, but I just can't read spreadsheets. I just glance at them on my laptop screen and suddenly I'm 15 years old again, crying onto my Algebra book. Enter the Google calendar. We had been using it to manage the algorithmic complexity of sharing custody of 4 children in 2 homes in 2 states (that's a whole separate novel) but we decided to use it to create marriage moments, events that we could do every week to make the marriage stronger. Keep reading...
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