Stop Telling Women To Email Men First
By Gina Stewart. Posted on .
I got contacted by a female client recently, she had one single follow up question to a consultation I'd given her on her profile, pictures, online behavior and even email techniques. Everything was solid and great, but I was happy to answer whatever this question was.
Female clients are not rare to me. I love them. The funny thing is that in my business, Expert Online Dating, I've built a speciality around helping men do online dating. I had no intentions to neglect women, I just chose to help men and carve my specific and solid expertise there.
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Smart women will still contact me and become part of my clientele. These women are smart because they know my extensive experience with men gives them something they want to know: knowledge on how men think, but told to them through the communication channels of a woman (me). It's a valuable information set and one I'm happy to share.
Karen, my client, had just read an article online about the reasons women doing online dating shouldn't wait for the man to contact them first. That women should take the bull by the horns and be confident. She asked, what did she need to know about sending emails first. I didn't need to know the specifics of the article to know what it said and why it said it. Those articles appeal to every modern woman more than the donuts at a PTA meeting.
Modern women, myself included, hate the antiquated notion of traditional gender roles. These days women account for more college graduates, more applications into graduate school. Yet women still make that .75 cents to every dollar our male counterparts make. We are pissed. On top of that you're going to tell me I have to cook, clean and raise children, and in the same breath tell me that we need to be a two- income household?! I mean, I can do it because I'm superwoman but I don't need you to tell me this is my role.
I get it. What I am about to tell you will sound like sacrilege to the modern, independent, I can do everything a man can do, woman. Sing it with me, "Anything you can do, I can do better… I can do anything better than youuuuu."
Ladies, when it comes to online dating, you can not email the man first.
And you gasp and you say "Gina, but, but, this ARTICLE! It made very LOGICAL points about how I CAN! And I WANT to believe this! I don't want to sit around and wait!"
And I'll tell you that you still shouldn't.
And you'll say, "But they did this study and they said that men love it when women are bold and make the first move. That they are flattered by it and not turned off."
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And I'll still tell you no, even though I don't doubt those findings one bit.
Here is the realty:
