For most guys, the very idea of being caught in an emotionally vulnerable moment is…oh, what’s a good word?
Yes, I absolutely mean that if offered a choice between throwing up and admitting that he cried at the end of “The Notebook”, most guys would choose to bury their faces in a barf bag. It doesn’t matter how enlightened or evolved the guy happens to be, when it comes to exposing of real, raw, hurt, guys will fight it. And they will fight it like Luke Skywalker fought the dark side of The Force.
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It’s not that men want to be that way; it’s just something that simply can’t be helped. Guys are genetically predisposed to hide feelings because showing feelings of hurt is showing weakness. And as much as ladies say that they admire a guy who’s unafraid to bare his soul and shed a tear, that guy may get a pass at first. But if he bares that bleeding heart too often, the lady eventually thinks, “too soft” and she’s out of there! An inconvenient truth…women get the lifetime emotional hall pass, guys…don’t.
And though women tend to believe otherwise, when couples argue, guys are often hurt by many of womens’ mid-fight retorts and declarations. And just as guys know that there are certain buzzwords and statements guaranteed to be a roadblock to reaching any resolution, women should know that there is a female equivalent. Guys have feelings too!
So I’m going to give you an assist. The following list is comprised of a few particular words and phrases that are guaranteed to wound a guy no matter how he may react outwardly. So here we go…
1. “I’ll just talk to someone who understands me.” – So you’re saying that I’m such an awful partner that I’ve spent all this time with you without paying attention to your particular emotional needs? Wow. That hurts.
2. “You never….” – This is a particularly hurtful statement. Why? Because by saying, “you never...”, you’ve essentially made it clear that something he most likely has done at least periodically, was a waste of time and effort because you didn’t notice it anyway. And you can’t save the situation by saying, “Well, you know what I mean.” Nope. We don’t know what you mean. We don’t read minds. We know what you’ve said, though.
3. “You always…” – See above.