Wedding Drama: How do You Handle Difficult Family Members?


Wedding Drama: How do You Handle Difficult Family Members?
What do you do with those people who you may not have wanted at your wedding anyway?


by Life Love Shopping, Amy Hoglund, for

You’ve been dreaming of this day ever since you were a little girl playing with Barbies. I’m talking about your wedding day! You’ve got it all figured out, except there’s one problem. Your extremely difficult family who forgets that it’s YOUR special day rather than their own.


Seating arrangements, the venue, pictures, who is doing/saying what, yada yada yada…  there is always something to be said!



I spoke with Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka “Dr. Romance”) psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage. She puts it simply, “If you’re grown up enough to get married, you’re grown up enough to take charge and begin to handle your parents differently.”

RELATED Mother of the Bride Etiquette


It seems simple enough, but I’m sure many people out there can understand how it’s much easier said than done.

If you grew up in a broken home, sometimes having your mother and father in the same room would be like WWII.


“Identify family members or friends who might be problems, so you can diffuse them beforehand," Tessina suggests. "If your parents are fighting, and you want them both at the  wedding, give them a choice: “If you promise not to fight around me or the wedding, I’d love to have you be part of it.  But, if you create problems, you’ll have to drop out.” Then stick to it.” She adds, “Arrange before hand to have the offending parent or parents ejected by security staff or family members if they don’t behave.”

I had someone close to me go through this situation, their family members were so stubborn that they didn’t want to participate in a full family photo. Yes you read that right. What do you do if you’re stuck in the same boat or close to it?


“This is your wedding. Don’t allow family members to be difficult," Tessina tells us. "Families are supposed to support you, not make things more difficult, so tell them beforehand that they’re expected to dress appropriately, be in the photos they’re asked to be in, and generally behave well.  Be willing to let go of any family members, including parents, who show signs of unreliability or who are uncooperative. ”

RELATED 3 Wedding Planning Myths... BUSTED!



This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts

Let the Fireworks Begin!

Being a Marriage and Family Therapist and being married can be a double-edged sword.

Frustrated Woman Sitting At Computer

The Power of Facebook

I have a confession to make. I'm not a Facebook person. I feel un-American saying that out loud.


A big astrological shift is taking place this coming week...

  If you've ever read my newsletters, then you've probably noticed that I talk ...

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>