Why Men Are Settling For Mrs. Good Enough

to the YourTango newsletter!

FIND AN EXPERT
Advanced SearchKimberly SeltzerDr. Erica  GoodstoneJennifer Chappell Marsh MFT Intern #65184
ProConnect

Satisfy Him Without Going All The Way

By . Posted on .

Satisfy Him Without Going All The Way
How to keep things HOT (and both of you happy) without doin' the deed...

Most of the time we have no problem getting it on with our significant other. But once in a while there may be something preventing you from doing the deed. Maybe you're hugely pregnant or post-partum. Maybe you're injured. Perhaps Aunt Flo's in town or there's just no birth control on hand. It can be tempting to just roll over and go to sleep, but according to sex expert, Jaiya, author of Red Hot Touch and founder of New World Sex Education--staying sexually close, even when you can't go all the way--is important.

Related: My Hubby Doesn't Want Sex. What Gives?

"A week can become a month, a month becomes a year, a year becomes a decade...it happens. Staying close sexually helps you build a deeper bond. When you stop touching you stop getting the hormone Oxytocin which helps you bond and feel happier," she explains. "We have to expand our definition of sexual activity. There is so much that you can do to stay connected."

In fact, even if you can have sex, she still suggests you consider expanding your sexual repertoire and mixing things up a little every once in a while.

Related: Is "That Time of the Month" Always Off-Limits?

"The recipe for hot intimacy is mystery plus obstacle," she says. "Give your partner a little mystery by not knowing what to expect from you, and a little obstacle by creating healthy, fun boundaries. For example, try giving him an erotic massage, or what about oral pleasure with your underwear on? Many couples get into a pattern when it comes to their sexual lives. They get too emotionally intimate and close and ultimately it smothers the fire!"

Related: Turns Out THIS Isn't Every Guy's Fantasy After All

Here are some of Jaiya's ideas to get started with some sex-free sex!

* Oral Lovemaking
* Erotic Genital Massage
* Making Out In Your Underwear
* Sensual Bathing/Sensual Shower
* Tie Your Partner Up and Tease Them With A Variety of Sensations

Of course, if you've been missionary style for years, it might be a bit daunting to bring up trying something new. So how do you let your partner know you're interested in mixing things up?

Related: Is Playing Hard to Get a Turn On or Turn Off?

"Remember how hot it was when you were just getting know each other and you had make-out sessions, oral sessions, erotic massage?" Jaiya asks. "Entice you partner with the alternatives, most men won't turn down fellatio! You could also introduce a little role playing in the situation...play hard to get, play with intentionally created obstacles. 'I get to ravish you in my way...but I keep my pants on!'"

So the next time you find yourself unable to go all the way--or just want to get creative--remember you can have just as much fun at second and third base as you can sliding into home.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

GalTime .com

Author, Dating Coach, Divorce Coach, Family Coach, Life Coach, Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Educator, Organization, Relationship Coach, Sex Coach, YourTango Expert Partner

Galtime.com. Everyone needs a little galtime!

Location: Somerset, MA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women, Parenting
Website: GalTime.com
Other Articles/News by GalTime .com :

Manspeak: 10 "Dude-isms" Translated

By

By SMF Marcus Osborne for GalTime.com I think it's fair to say that, in general, men are more straightforward than women. Ask a guy if he likes your hairstyle and he'll give you a solid "Yes" or "No." There's usually not a deeper explanation for those answers. A man's statements are what they are: simple, straightforward ... Read more

Eco-Friendly Tips for Spring Cleaning Your Home-- and Your Life

By

By EcoChi's Debra Duneier for GalTime.com This is the season of hope, optimism and a chance for a fresh start. As the season of spring enters it brings with it, the energy of rebirth. Think of the smell of new grass, rain showers and bulbs pushing through the soil with their long awaited colorful blossoms. Follow these tips to clean up your act in time ... Read more

We're Got an Early Onset Career Crisis: How to Cope

By

By Danielle Miller, GalTime.com It looks like the job market is bleak for new college grads and young professionals. A new report says one out of two young college grads is either unemployed or underemployed in jobs that don't fully use their skills. Many professionals who do have jobs are struggling to keep those positons. The uncertain job climate ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Press Conference

DeMistyfy Your Dating: Radio Interview: [EXPERT]

And yes, we spelled it that way for a reason! Listen to this humorous interview of Spike and learn!

Running Woman

Post-Divorce Growth…After They Go, Grow [EXPERT]

Identify your positive changes post-divorce. Make it a growth experience!

No Love

Married and Fighting? It May Signify a Solid Relationship

Married couples can be too harmonious. Find out how much discord creates dynamic relationships.

Have a dating or relationship question?
Ask it here and one of our experts will answer it.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
FROM OUR PARTNERS