Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

5 Signs His Jealousy Is Out of Control

Love, Heartbreak

Jealousy can be cute, but the green-eyed monster can also make your life a nightmare. Red flags...

By GalTime Love Doc Jane Greer, Ph.D. Do you ever ask yourself, "Am I dealing with a jealous partner?" Is his (or her) jealousy reasonable? Is it rational or is it irrational? Is he (or she) being so jealous, that it's not right and it's not fair?
Here are 5 signs to watch out for...

#1. Is he calling you all the time and checking up on you? Does he always ask who are you talking to and where are you going?

Related: The Real Reason He Won't Talk

#2. Is he making issues about you taking time to spend on your own? Does he get upset or angry when you want to go out by yourself or with your friends?

Related: Can You Have Guy Friends Once You're In a Relationship?

#3. Does he get upset or complain if you talk to other guys? Does he accuse you of being interested in someone other than him? Does he refuse to see that you are just being social and playful, having a good time with other people and that you just want to share that good time with him?

Related: 3 Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Bed

#4. Does he always want to know what time you're coming home and then get angry if you come home later than you expected? Do you feel like you don't have freedom to be yourself and do the things that are important to you?

Related: Can Separate Vacations Be Good For Your Relationship?

#5. This one is very important. Is he going through your personal things... emails, phone messages, your date book... trying to find out where you're going and who you're with because he don't trust you?

If you think your partner is jealous, the first thing to do is to reassure him that he has nothing to worry about. Take his feelings seriously, but at the same time make sure you preserve space to do your own thing.

If he persists on trying to limit your life and the activities you share with other people to the point where you are feeling controlled by him, then it is time to reach out and talk to a counselor to help you learn how to set limits and put controls in place for yourself... so that you hold on to what's important to you and don't start giving things up out of fear of his jealousy or to placate him.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.


Expert advice

If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
Several key behaviors stand out in order to help couples create a healthy relationship.
It seems like you can't do anything right.

Explore YourTango