I once heard a prominent matchmaker and best-selling author remark that all women think they look younger than they are and they're usually wrong. At the time, I wasn't sure if I agreed with her. Also, I thought: "well, I really do look younger!" Now, after having noticed how many other women commonly say the same thing who are clearly wrong, I've reevaluated my position.
Perhaps it's a function of us feeling more vibrant than we imagined we would as we got older. Or we convince ourselves that all of our anti-aging products work the miracles they promise in magazine ads. Maybe it's just a plain collective delusion. Whatever the reason, let go of your belief your age is unguessable. There is nothing wrong with looking your age, and besides - beauty is ageless!
While speaking to another matchmaker recently, he told me about a prospective client who described herself as "looking 30" though she was actually 70 years old. I haven't seen this woman, but I think we can all agree she's off by a few decades. I had a 40 year old woman say to me: "I might be single, but at least I look like I'm in my 20s." When I replied: "Well...maybe 30s", she looked as though I'd slapped her. It got me to thinking, what is this attachment we have to looking younger?
You know those women who have plastic surgery to look younger and wind up looking like older women who've had work done? It's kind of like that. Does Joan Rivers look like she's in her 30s just because she has no wrinkles? Don't be that woman going around announcing how young you look. Here's why:
1. You sound egotistical and/or delusional. Unless people are regularly asking you which subject you're majoring in, or if you're old enough to remember the Monica Lewinksy scandal, you don't look as young as you think you do. OK, so the bartender carded you. My 70 year old mother gets carded from time to time, and it doesn't mean she's being mistaken for a teenager. Besides, even if most people would like to look younger, it's bad form to brag!
2. You use your "young looks" as a crutch. Maybe you're single and would rather not be, or you're unemployed, or you're not as successful in your career as you'd like. Does telling yourself that you look younger mean that you actually are and therefore have all the time in the world to get a job/promotion/boyfriend? No. It doesn't. See #1 above.
3. You think you're entitled to date younger, because, well... just look at you! Date younger if you want to. Date younger if the young potential partners you meet are compatible with you and share your same goals (and timelines for those goals). Date younger if you're comfortable being called a cougar or a silver fox. But don't pass up age appropriate partners as "too old" because... news flash! See # 1 above.
4. Hotness knows no age limits. Looks matter. Of course. But believing young = hot is as wrong as it is counter-productive. Even the youngest and hottest of us is getting older each day. The goal should be to embrace yourself and be proud and confident in who you are. Look at all the men drooling over Helen Mirren and admiring Tina Turner's legs. How many women still lust after Sean Connery and George Clooney? Their attractiveness isn't based on looking young, it's based on looking good!
Do you agree? Are you regularly mistaken for being younger? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below!
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