Women love the erotic intimacy that comes when a men orgasms and/or ejaculates inside them.
Yes, that orgasm with his penis exploding with pleasure inside their bodies. However, too many men today have used stronger stimulation methods than what most vaginas, and other places, can physically provide. It can be the hottest, mentally-erotic moment while in a feminine submissive role that puts the cherry on top: "He f****d me, and I loved it." The seed filling her as the penultimate action of that form of sex. That ejaculation inside, in a condom or not, is well-favored. Try making a big deal about it with hot talk, even while you're ejaculating inside her. That often pushes the dramatic and erotic way up.
Then there's the self-esteem generated in women when he comes in her. Many women will take that as a sign that he's fully attracted to her-- wants her. However, many men aren't able to orgasm inside their partners because the stimulation received therein is insufficient to reach orgasm. He can be turned on, want you, but his penis needs more stimulation than what your body is able to give at the present moment. Many women interpret that as lack of desire for them, and sometimes that can be part of it, long term or temporarily, but more often I find is it's a physical stimulation issue. Take time to design a way to make that easier for him. Practice. If a man has trouble ejaculating, it can often be due to desensitization of his penis head, which is the primary source for orgasm stimulation for the majority of men. This can happen via too vigorous and tight masturbation with or without adequate lubrication, or no lubrication at all. There are other reasons too. Mental ones like he's not paying enough focused attention to what's hot about his partner and the present moment and the feelings he's receiving on his penis from her vagina or otherwise. Other things too, all part of what I teach my sex life coaching clients.
When you can't focus on the sex you're having, and the mind starts to wander, if that's not already a chronic issue, then it's probably time to change things up to something new. The brain craves new things. Time-tested things are much better when left on the shelf for a little while and returned to. Much like those old tracks on your ipod. You know how you don't listen to something for a while and then come back to it and you like it again? Novelty. It's how our brains work. It doesn't have anything to do with whether he or she loves you or not. We'd have a lot less strife in relationships if both women and men got this and remembered it in these moments.
Coming inside a woman. Back to that. I love to look straight down into a woman's eyes and with peripheral vision, at her body, when I come inside her. Ravish her a little more while I'm blowing inside her when appropriate. I also love getting the porn cam view of our pelvises driving penis into vagina or bum while I'm orgasming, knowing what's going inside of that hot female body and simultaneously watching it take it. These are some examples of easy to do visual changes you can make that create a big difference for many of us.
Speaking of porn, porn has proven the money shot is more popular on camera, but both inside and out work in the real world, more often we come inside. I remember when coming inside a woman was a mildly stressful moment. You had to make sure the condom was in place and not slipping down, that after you came in her you secured the condom by pinching it and withdrawing, etc. It was never what it should have been-- worry-free abandon. Until, I'll say it again, started using elastomer cock rings at the base of my penis around the bottom of the condom. Keeps it in place every time and lets me explode inside her with no trepidation, just hotness like if it was bareback. My lovers love that relief too. Really like it, in fact. The burden of worring about if, especially if it's the first time we're having sex, that I'm not going to secure the condom as I withdraw. Plus it makes my cock even thicker and harder. I want to see the men of this country standardizing cock rings with their condoms. One ring to use with each girl to keep it safe sex too.
For those new to my blog, I write on my and others' sex life, in erotica form, because many of us need only read of an example of what really is possible. It so often lights a desire to "Want to do that. Feel that." They want to learn how to have better sex through sex advice and sex education, maybe for the first time in their lives. I also intend to present to my readers the reality of great sex from basic to advanced. Finally, ever wonder how good the sex that your sex therapist is having in their own sex life? I have. I'm not a sex therapist, I don't do sex therapy. I'm a sex life coach. I teach and I do.