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Discover the tricks to make you lucky in love.
By Elizabeth Stone
Last updated on Oct 14, 2023
Some people are just luckier in love than others. I wondered what was so special about these people for a long time.
They seem to float from one love affair to the next with little effort. But what was it they did differently?
After studying, asking, and having some luck in love myself, I’ve pinpointed nine skills and traits that people who are lucky in love seem to cultivate.
Here are 9 tricky ways anyone can be lucky in love — yes, even you:
1. Always trust your gut instincts
If your body is screaming “wrong,” listen to it. Don't talk yourself into liking someone who's just “close enough.” I talk about settling a lot — and sometimes it’s tempting to stick with a mediocre relationship rather than being alone. If your gut says “no,” then the answer is no — even as painful as that may be.
2. Get out and live
Did you get invited to the symphony? Bowling? An art museum? Say yes! Open up your social calendar. You never know where you might meet the person for you. It’s hard for fate to put the right person in front of you when you binge-watch Netflix. If you get invited to something by a friend, co-worker, or acquaintance, go!
3. Vary your routine, don't fear change
Similar to saying yes to social engagements, switch up your daily routine.
People consistently lucky in love make time for their hobbies and interests. If you go to the same coffee shop every day and visit the same places every weekend, make an effort to try new places and put yourself in front of new people. Simply changing where you go every day could make magic happen.
4. Always be grateful for what you have.
Chances are, there are so many things in your life right now to be thankful for. There is always something to be grateful for, and your life will benefit hugely from the daily practice of acknowledging it.
People skim over mentions of gratitude, but appreciation is vital! Maybe the right person hasn’t shown up yet, but you increase your chances of attracting them exponentially if you are thrilled about your life as it is already.
5. Have a firm, realistic point to set your expectations bar.
Often, people’s idea of what a relationship should be like is over the top. Either they accept "crumbs" and should raise their standards, or they hope to throw a lasso around the moon and are ultimately disappointed.
If you are consistently disappointed with your relationships, your expectations could be the culprit. Make an effort to emotionally open yourself up to people who aren’t exactly “your type.” Decide on three to five internal traits that a love should possess (kindness, integrity, etc.), and check the rest of your expectations at the door.
6. Don't be afraid to try and try again.
Practice makes perfect when it comes to love and dating. Do whatever it takes to get yourself in front of more potential love interests. Try online dating. Try speed dating. Put yourself out there and meet more people. Dating is a skill you can only improve by participation.
People don’t realize that meeting the right person requires you to meet many people who aren’t right for you first. Meeting more people has the dual benefit of helping you handle rejection better, which is incredibly valuable.
7. Have some confidence in yourself!
People who are successful in love have a solid sense of themselves. A big part of having a successful relationship is having self-worth and knowing how you want to be treated.
If you’re happily single or coupled up, you will have a much easier time attracting love than someone who struggles with their identity when they aren’t in a relationship.
8. Always focus on what's in front of you.
You know the heartbreak that leveled you? Staying stuck will make it so much harder to find someone new. You compare new partners to your failed relationship and focus on what didn’t work out. Since what you resist persists, you’re only inviting more heartbreak. You must let go, accept it, and resolve to move on.
9. Don't forget the things that make you happy.
Often, when people meet someone they are excited about, they neglect their hobbies, friends, and passions. While I realize it’s tempting to clear off your schedule for a relationship, don’t.
If you stop doing things you’re passionate about, you risk transferring all of that passion to each new love interest. This puts pressure on the other person to be “your everything” and will throw the relationship off balance. Don’t give in to the tendency to forgo balance for your new love affair.
If you’ve done this in the past, try to keep up your separate interests once you meet someone. Your partner should respect that you have interests outside the relationship. If they don’t, it’s a sign of an unhealthy pairing.
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Elizabeth Stone is a love coach and founder of Attract The One and Luxe Self. Her work has been featured in Zoosk, PopSugar, The Good Men Project, Bustle, Ravishly, SheKnows, Mind’s Journal, and more.