4 Subtle Ways To Approach Men

By

4 Subtle Ways To Approach Men
Who says a girl can't make the first move?

Approaching men is such a hotly debated topic. Some coaches say never to do it. I beg to differ. This is the 21st century! How else are you going to meet that cute guy at the coffee shop who doesn't see you if you don't do something? Right? Right.

However, if you march on over and say "Hello" and stare at him like you're a lioness and he's your next meal, it could very well backfire and give him the wrong idea. Always think "subtle and flirtatious." Here are my sneaky ways for approaching men in public that don't really scream "I want to take your clothes off pronto," but give you the opportunity to start a conversation.

 

Here are my four tried and true ways to approach a guy from least to most obvious:

  1. Eye Contact: Make eye contact for a few seconds, smile and look away. Think flirty thoughts when you do this. If he wants to talk to you, he'll come over, for you've just signaled that you'd be interested in that. If he doesn't, then you have your answer.
  2. Ask Him A Question: Need directions? Help finding something? Wondering what time it is? Get over there and ask, woman! However, if you stare at him, and march across the room to ask the score of the game, it's going to be awkward. Get near him first and then ask your question. This is one of my favorites. You have started a conversation of some type, it feels natural and it gives him the opportunity to help you. Note: If you have your phone, you CANNOT ask him the time. Pick something else. If you whip out your phone with its big clock on the front, two minutes after you ask him the time, it's going to back fire.
  3. The Compliment: Find something, anything to compliment him on. Subtle is good. Quirky is also good. The book he's reading, the jacket he's wearing, etc. are all good compliment opportunities. However, don't be like this; once I marched over to a man to compliment him and had no idea what else I intended to say after that. It was going well, he said thank you and smiled ,but he didn't say anything right away either. After a few awkward seconds, I panicked and ran. It was a total approach fail. Even if you have to talk about the weather, have something else ready so that you aren't stuck there in silence after the compliment.
  4. The Stumble: I'm not advocating actually falling on the man, but if you can bump into him "accidentally," it's not a bad way to start a conversation. Don't be like me and actually fall and then spill your drink all over yourself. This is a don't. Think very gentle and subtle, always.

Remember that you need to prepare something to say for after you approach the guy as well. Don't get caught there, deer-in-the-headlights style, unable to transition to an actual conversation if he just stares at you once you arrive. Do you approach? What is your best go-to method for approaching a man? Tell me what you think below in the comment section.

If you're struggling with guys who regularly pull a houdini, find out how to turn the tables with a free download of my new book, Why Men Lose Interest.

This article was originally published at Digital Romance Inc.. Reprinted with permission.

More about how to start a conversation on YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Elizabeth Stone

Author

Ever feel like your heart just got ripped out and your guy danced the samba on it?  Do you want one more chance, to make things amazing again? Let me help you rewind your relationship back to the way it was at the beginning, before he pulled away and became cold and distant.

I know what it feels like to wake up with sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, hoping, wishing that you could turn back the clock and make things better again.

Find out what to do when a guy withdraws from you and turn your relationship around now.

Location: Las Vegas, NV
Credentials: BA
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Elizabeth Stone:

The Surprising Truth About What Your Man Craves

By

"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.” -Henry D. Thoreau Do you ever wonder what your man craves in relationships? I was in Florida on vacation recently. One Saturday afternoon, my husband and I dipped into a local Starbucks. As we were drinking our coffee, we overheard the ... Read more

17 Signs Your Relationship Is Toxic and 5 Steps to Fix It

By

Toxic relationships come in various shapes and sizes, but the end result is always that they diminish you instead of building you up. It could be that you get along like oil and water or that the other person is not a nice person. Toxic doesn’t always mean evil or abusive, but lots of things on this list are indeed evil and abusive. Either way, wrong ... Read more

8 Things Your Depressed Partner Wishes You Knew

By

Going through depression is hard enough on it’s own without the crushing guilt that comes along with potentially trashing your relationship. Combined with the fact that serious depression is difficult to comprehend without having actually experienced it yourself— it can lead to a perfect storm of relationship damaging behavior both from the ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular