Approaching men is such a hotly debated topic. Some coaches say never to do it. I beg to differ. This is the 21st century! How else are you going to meet that cute guy at the coffee shop who doesn't see you if you don't do something? Right? Right.
However, if you march on over and say "Hello" and stare at him like you're a lioness and he's your next meal, it could very well backfire and give him the wrong idea. Always think "subtle and flirtatious." Here are my sneaky ways for approaching men in public that don't really scream "I want to take your clothes off pronto," but give you the opportunity to start a conversation.
Here are my four tried and true ways to approach a guy from least to most obvious:
Eye Contact: Make eye contact for a few seconds, smile and look away. Think flirty thoughts when you do this. If he wants to talk to you, he'll come over, for you've just signaled that you'd be interested in that. If he doesn't, then you have your answer.
Ask Him A Question: Need directions? Help finding something? Wondering what time it is? Get over there and ask, woman! However, if you stare at him, and march across the room to ask the score of the game, it's going to be awkward. Get near him first and then ask your question. This is one of my favorites. You have started a conversation of some type, it feels natural and it gives him the opportunity to help you. Note: If you have your phone, you CANNOT ask him the time. Pick something else. If you whip out your phone with its big clock on the front, two minutes after you ask him the time, it's going to back fire.
The Compliment: Find something, anything to compliment him on. Subtle is good. Quirky is also good. The book he's reading, the jacket he's wearing, etc. are all good compliment opportunities. However, don't be like this; once I marched over to a man to compliment him and had no idea what else I intended to say after that. It was going well, he said thank you and smiled ,but he didn't say anything right away either. After a few awkward seconds, I panicked and ran. It was a total approach fail. Even if you have to talk about the weather, have something else ready so that you aren't stuck there in silence after the compliment.
The Stumble: I'm not advocating actually falling on the man, but if you can bump into him "accidentally," it's not a bad way to start a conversation. Don't be like me and actually fall and then spill your drink all over yourself. This is a don't. Think very gentle and subtle, always.
Remember that you need to prepare something to say for after you approach the guy as well. Don't get caught there, deer-in-the-headlights style, unable to transition to an actual conversation if he just stares at you once you arrive. Do you approach? What is your best go-to method for approaching a man? Tell me what you think below in the comment section.
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This article was originally published at Digital Romance Inc.
. Reprinted with permission from the author.