There are better ways of handling this...
Breakups are tricky. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy say and do things that we don’t mean. If you want a shot with your ex in the future (just in case, right?), or even if you just want to stay friends (because sometimes ex's make the BEST friends), making your breakup as amicable and graceful as possible will improve your chances.
Avoid doing these 25 things if you plan on EVER having a chance at getting back together:
1. Inventing bizarre reasons to contact them.
“Oh … so I needed to stop by to get my facial cleanser back.”
2. “Accidentally” (on purpose) running into them.
“Weird, I was randomly in your neighborhood — 25 miles away from my house.”
3. Constantly hanging out at places you used to go together.
“This is MY bar.”
4. Trying to get revenge.
“I’m going to get back at him for saying that THING.”
5. Destroying your ex’s stuff.
“If I burn everything, SHE WILL FINALLY REALIZE I LOVE HER!!”
6. Talking to your ex’s friends about them.
“So … I wanted to talk to you about your buddy. What’s he up to?”
7. Contacting your ex’s parents.
“I wanted to call to see if your daughter is okay, since she broke up with me last Tuesday.”
8. Trying to apologize for everything that went wrong.
“IT’S ALL MY FAULT! I have failed you in every way imaginable.”
9. Having an embarrassing emotional outburst.
Ever sobbed loudly in the Target makeup aisle? I have.
10. Stalking (cyber or otherwise).
“I’m going to just see what he’s up to …”
11. Deleting your ex on social media, then using your friend’s profile to see what they are up to.
“Hey, we’ve got to find out who that mystery man commenting on her profile is …”
12. Comparing yourself to his exes before you.
“I think I’m so much hotter than his ex, Eileen.”
13. Looking at old pictures of you together.
14. Initiating awkward “WHY?” conversations.
“WHY did you give up on us???”
15. Gossiping about your ex.
“I heard that she’s getting breast implants.”
16. “Accidentally” texting them.
You: “Hey sexy.”
Your ex: “Um … Hi?”
You: “Oops, that was meant for someone else.”
17. Obsessively staying in contact.
“I just wanted to let you know I’m going to the dry cleaners.”
18. Refusing to accept current reality.
“It’s NOT over until I say it’s over.”
19. Getting jealous and acting it out.
“I just can’t handle that you have a dog that you love more than me!”
20. Trying to make your ex jealous.
“I’ll just have all of these girls from the club tag me in their photos. My ex will see them on Facebook. I’ll show her what she’s missing out on.”
21. Creating elaborate theories about your ex.
“I think he’s secretly gay.”
22. Plotting ways to drive your ex’s new flame away.
“I’m just going to call her new boyfriend and tell him they have to stop dating.”
23. Drunk dialing.
“I wanted to *hic* tell you that *hic* I MISS YOU BABE!”
24. Suggesting “Ex Sex”
“So ... wanna get together?”
25. Using the idea that you “have nothing left to lose” to justify any other behavior you know is wrong.
“It doesn’t matter anymore, I’m going to go to his house and cry on his doorstep. Then he’ll finally know it’s meant to be.”
When you’re trying to get your ex back, cool, calm and collected is the best way to handle yourself during every single interaction. They can’t miss you and start to fantasize about wanting you back if you’re smothering them and sacrificing your self respect.
It sounds strange, but to have the potential to get back together, you actually need to get OVER them so that you can both have a fresh start. Without clearing out the baggage from the old relationship, the hurt and resentment will just bubble back once the relationship takes off again.
If you're going through a breakup, get deeper insight with a free copy of Elizabeth Stone's free book, Why Men Lose Interest. You can also follow her daily email series here. It'll help you iron out the kinks and have that great relationship you've always wanted.
This article was originally published at Digital Romance Inc. Reprinted with permission from the author.