Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

How 'Hope Springs' Gets Couples Therapy Right

By . Posted on .

How 'Hope Springs' Gets Couples Therapy Right
The cast of 'Hope Springs'
Therapy is hard work, and you sometimes feel worse before you feel better

When it comes to couples therapy, Hope Springs achieves an incredibly thoughtful and realistic portrayal of this process. While television series such as In Treatment and The Sopranos have done a wonderful job of portraying what its like to experience psychotherapy, a realistic portrayal is much harder to achieve in a film. And even harder to achieve with respect to couples.

Why? Because therapy is hard work and change is awkward and uncomfortable. This brand of work and discomfort is incredibly difficult to convey on an artistic level within cinematic time constraints. Herein lies something truly special and psychologically unusual about Hope Springs as a film, and Kay (Meryl Streep) and Arnold (Tommy Lee Jones) as a couple. Through superb writing (Vanessa Taylor), masterful direction (David Frankel) and world class acting, we see just how weird it can feel to try do something different. Even if two people adore one another, as Kay and Arnold clearly do, trying to break out of long-standing marital patterns is no easy feat. If two people have settled into a distant, disconnected marriage, they are both likely to get used to their separate lives (and their separate bedrooms). Whether it is one or both partners who want the change, couples are bound to cringe at various points in the therapeutic process. The sheer awkwardness of trying to break out of relational dynamics that one has grown used to (such as sleeping in separate beds or not touching each other) can make couples want to give up all together. This is a phenomenon therapists frequently call "resistance".

More from YourTango: The Dirty Little Secret Of Divorced Parents

More from YourTango: Why You Should Date 'Apples' Instead Of 'Candy Bars'

Therapists will say that sometimes clients need to get worse before they get better, and Hope Springs takes us down that road beautifully. Steve Carell nails his role as a couples therapist. Dr. Bernie Feld's earnest facial expressions, calm voice, groovy but conservative dress and and hokey but relevant cliches are perfect. For example, he tells Kay and Arnold that he metaphorically likens therapy to the process of correcting a deviated septum -- the nose needs to be completely broken in order to be fixed. When Kay and Arnold are mutually humiliated after their very best effort to rekindle romance comes close but ultimately fails miserably, Bernie reminds the dejected couple that they made it all the way to the five yard line during the evening in question, and that they were stuck way out in the stadium's parking lot when they first began.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:
Meet Our Relationship Experts
Is Couples Counseling Good For Your Relationship?
3 Ways To Prepare For Couples Counseling

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Elisabeth LaMotte

Counselor/Therapist

Social worker, psychotherapist, blogger and author of "Overcoming Your Parents' Divorce"

Location: Washington, DC
Credentials: LICSW, MSW
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Divorce/Divorce Prevention
Other Articles/News by Elisabeth LaMotte:

The Dirty Little Secret Of Divorced Parents

By

Kids have fuller schedules today than they did in their parents' generation. These parents juggle to fit sports games, play dates, music lessons and other activities into their family's weekly schedule. As a result, parents are more stressed than ever and it is taking a toll on their relationships with their spouses. So, how on earth do moms and dads ... Read more

Why You Should Date 'Apples' Instead Of 'Candy Bars'

By

One of the most interesting aspects of my work as a therapist is how much I learn from my clients. Years ago, I worked with a young woman who was struggling to find a happy, healthy relationship. She easily, breezily summarized her challenge:  "My sorority sisters say my problem is that I keep dating candy bars when what I really need is an apple. ... Read more

On Identity & Self Esteem: Lessons from Downton Abbey

By

From a psychological perspective, Downton Abbey demonstrates how times may change, but certain human challenges remain the same.  The season finale includes the typical drama and heartbreak, but what is most interesting about this episode is its thematic exploration of the human struggle with transitions, identity and self-esteem. As the season opens, ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Banana

Masturbation in the Library

Books only, no masturbation please, that's how I like my library

Change Ahead

Day 16 & 17 - This is Gonna Take Something

Reclaiming Your Vitality - The Journey

Flirt

10 Sexting Tips

What works and doesn't in the sexting realm

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS