Get Your Marriage Out of the Valleys!


Get Your Marriage Out of the Valleys!

Climbing a mountain is hard. It requires an incredible degree of dedication and unyielding determination. There is rarely a sense of relief or a time for relaxation. Instead, there is simply more mountain, steeper slopes and further challenge.

In his incredible book about a disastrous expedition on Mt. Everest, Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer describes the almost unfathomable challenges faced by his climbing party.

There is the expected peril with inexperienced climbers falling off of cliffs and unfortunate circumstances where groups get caught in unexpected blizzards near the summit. However, the message that sticks with me from this and other books documenting mountain climbing adventures is the tragedy that so often results from a climber who hasn't committed fully to the mission.

Apparently, when conditions turn extreme, inexperienced adventurers notoriously turn toward complacency and seek a sense of comfort. Feeling that they have already come so far and doubting their ability to finish the climb in harsh conditions, a climber may seek rest and relief.

Unfortunately, the decision to rest in a valley rather than pushing ahead up the mountain is too often the on-doing of less experienced climbers. Once they get comfortable, it seems they can no longer muster the motivation to get out of the valley.

But I Don't Climb Mountains

Of course, Your Tango is not about mountain climbing, and my experience in extreme adventures is limited to book form (at least so far). So, how does this concept apply to those of us living near sea level?

I first heard the term "Valley Living" as part of a marriage retreat my wife and I attended a few months ago. And I immediately thought back to the accounts of mountain climbing that I had read and saw definite parallels.

Valley Living refers to our tendency to find a comfort zone and "live there" rather than expend the effort to pursue excellence. We ALL find ourselves chilling out in the valleys of life from time-to-time, and that's to be expected.

It's unrealistic to be climbing ALL of the proverbial mountains of everyday life at ALL times. But, we should always be striving for excellence by focusing on improving at least one area of our lives. This keeps us moving forward and prevents us from withering up inside of our comfort zone.

Where Are the Valleys that You Hang Out?

In what areas of your life do you tend to take it easy and hang out in your comfort zone?

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
divorce court

A Breakdown of Trust: The Real Problems With The Divorce Corp

Here's what you need to know about the big business of divorce.

Sex: The Signs You Are Dating A Sex Addict

You Asked, He Answered: How Do I Tell If He's A Sex Addict?

You're dating an amazing man, but you're scared he's a sex addict. Here are some warning signs.

Gay Dating

What I Learned About Unconditional Love

Guess Who Is Coming to Easter Dinner, the story of a mother who missed her gay son's wedding.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>