If Life Is So Great, Why Is Everyone So Unhappy These Days?

sad face girl

True happiness comes from connecting (off screen and in person) with the people we care about most.

It sounds cliché to say that 50 years ago life was simpler, but it was. Work and leisure time were divided more clearly. People were not easily reached outside of working hours, so problems in the office were put aside until the next working day. (Today, people feel pressure to be available 24/7.) Relationships and friendships were based on time spent together in the same physical space. And we devoted more time to building intimacy with loved ones by actualy talking (vs. texting) during time spent together.

Multitasking was considered folding the laundry while watching television. But today, multitasking means splitting attention between a smartphone, tablet and laptop screen while engaged in another activity (like having dinner with your partner or "listening" to your child talk about their day). People seemed to have more patience which we cultivated by actually having to wait for things in our daily lives. Relationship experts know that patience is crucial to building lasting, healthy relationships.

The art of conversation was valued 50 years ago. Our attention span was longer. The focus was not on coming up with a witty sound bite or hashtag, but on making sure that the other person really understood your point of view and that you understood theirs. Twitter conversations and Facebook discussions online are not the same. The deeper feelings of connection are not as easily engendered when communication is at a distance. It is far easier to misunderstand one another when tone of voice, facial expression and body language are absent or communicated by a limited number of emoticons.

In the past, in order to connect with a group of people, we had to go out and actually see them, spend time with them. Technology, the internet and the increasing rise of home offices make it easier to go long periods of time with no physical contact with another human being. So rather than feeling more connected, many people feel more isolated and lonely.

Dr. Lori Bisbey is a Relationship Coach and Psychologist who works with bright motivated couples and polyamorous groups of all ages, genders, races and sexualities who want to create long lasting passionate relationships. Anyone can create the love and intimate relationships of their dreams. If you can see it and you are committed to growth, communication and getting out into the world; you can create it! The relationships you want start with you. You can connect with Lori face to face, at a workshop/lecture, in a WebEx seminar or group, or set up a Skype chat and start your journey now!


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