3 Easy Steps To A Happy Divorce (Really!)

By

3 Easy Steps To A Happy Divorce (Really!)
Believe it! There are some ways to work on your post-split happiness.

It's completely understandable and somewhat expected for people to be unhappy about getting a divorce. Nobody gets married and expects to get divorced. Divorce can be costly, frustrating, hard on your kids, and volatile. Why would anyone even consider being happy about the situation? Yet, look at the alternatives: Staying miserable for the rest of your life? Blaming your ex for all of your unhappiness? Hanging on to resentment and regrets? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life in that kind of misery? I'm hoping eventually you will say no. 

So how do you have a happy (or at least happier) divorce

1. Regardless of who left whom, consider it a step in the right direction. If you left him, you must have had a good reason and for that you should know that you are moving forward. If he left you, even if you are grieving the loss, know that having him stay wouldn't make either of you happy. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Don't you deserve better than that? Holding on to your ex or the past will only hurt you and keep you from enjoying a life well-lived. Resentment is understandable, but it isn't at all helpful. If you are having trouble letting go of the anger and resentment, get some professional help

2. Fake it until you make it. Act happy; look for positive things to look forward to or to enjoy in the moment. Walk away from negative people and negative situations. Don't ruminate or obsess about what could have been. What good is that? Don't incessantly tell others how awful your ex is or how miserable you are. Instead have faith that everything will be all right, tell yourself so frequently, and start doing things that bring joy into your life, not pain. This is your opportunity to find out what makes you happy, not just how you can make others happy. This will be one of the most important skills of your life. Keep reading...

More divorce advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by

Dr. Lisa Kaplin

YourTango Expert Partner

Dr. Lisa J. Kaplin is a life coach and psychologist you can reach her at:

www.smartwomeninspiredlives.com

 

Location: Chicago, IL
Credentials: CPC, ELI-MP, MS, PsyD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Lisa Kaplin:

Hey, It's Ok For ALL Of Us To Talk Honestly About Racism

By

Have you ever wanted to ask someone from a different race about what life is like for them but didn't because you were afraid you might offend them or they might consider you to be bigoted or racist? Did you pick up mindsets from your family that you realize now many people consider racist but you find yourself believing those ideas anyway? Do you ever find ... Read more

How A Deadly Disease Took The Life Of Robin Williams

By

Yesterday the world received tragic news that comedian and actor, Robin Williams, lost his battle with depression. How could such a truly talented, funny, and seemingly kind person with access to every form of medical care lose this battle? Apparently, Williams had suffered much of his adult life from depression and yesterday it ended his life. Many will say ... Read more

Is Hillary Clinton Our Country's Next Relationship Sage?

By

Last week Hillary Clinton made a brief but profound statement about forgiving her husband after his affair in the White House. Clinton said, "Forgiveness is a choice." Clinton never mentions anything about her husband asking for forgiveness or even actually forgiving his actions. Instead, she discusses forgiveness as a gift to herself. She says, ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.