The First 5 minutes…and beyond.


The First 5 minutes…and beyond.
“Catching a man’s attention and keeping a man’s interest are two completely different things.”

You’re a woman. You KNOW that we men are visual creatures. What does she look like? Woah-dont get whiplash from that head whipping around! Excuse me-my eyes are up HERE! You’ve seen it happen, may be involved in it happening, and may even do some of it yourself (Ryan Gosling, Maxwell…need I say more?).

The First 5 minutes...and beyond.When you ask yourself questions like: how do I get beyond that? or, how do I look more attractive to get his attention? If I lose 10 pounds will he look at me again? …it’s coming from that belief that it’s all about the looks. Now, I know not every woman thinks like that, but many do. Yes, even you, the spiritual, conscious woman looking for your conscious man. Sometimes you wonder if a new outfit, or new wrinkle cream will help your love life.


But at the same time – certainly you think that the conscious man will be different…right? Wrong. Well, right and wrong. Let me explain. Men are visual, and men are looking at you a bit differently than you look at them…but not as differently as you may think. You see, so many women do not know how to attract and keep a man’s interest, much less the conscious man they want to be the father of their children, or their husband, or their lifetime partner.

When a man meets you on a romantic level, usually within the first 5 minutes he is making an assessment, what he’s doing is quickly deciding if you are more likely a fling or a potential wife/life partner. Yup. Fling or Future. Now, neither are etched in stone, obviously, but it’s much easier to go from possible Wife to Fling than it is to go from Fling to Wife/Life Partner.

So what’s it based on? Some visual, for sure. Are you dressed more like you are trying to catch a mans attention? More like Rihanna or Madonna? or more like Michelle Obama or Katie Perry?

“Catching a man’s attention and keeping a man’s interest are two completely different things.”

But it goes way beyond the visual. Keeping interest goes way beyond “what’s going on tonight?” It’s what’s going on in your life? You see, a conscious man who is looking for his life partner has to feel that he is interested in you (because you are doing interesting things in your life), that he respects you (because you respect yourself), and that you are interested in and respect him (by not assuming he’s only about the visual and sex), and oh yes, that you take good care of yourself thus making you look your best-in other words-visually attractive.

The First 5 minutes...and beyond.Yes, he’s looking at how you look, but he’s also listening to how you live, and he’s experiencing how you carry yourself, and where are you going in your life? Is she quick fun, or one for the long run? In fact, there are three main qualities that he’s looking for…but wait, who is the HE? That conscious, caring, marriage-minded man who is actively seeking or is open to meeting and committing to his soulmate.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Lara And Johnny Fernandez

Relationship Coach

Dr. Lara Fernandez and Johnny Fernandez, J.D. are soulmates on a mission. Their popular, fun, and effective LoveLaunch courses and programs help single, successful, spiritual women live the life of their dreams with their soulmate by their side.

Visit to learn more about Soulmate Love and Men of Quality.

Location: Benicia, CA
Credentials: DC, JD
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