4 Tips To Move On Without Moving Into The Rebound

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4 Tips To Move On Without Moving Into The Rebound
Do you want to move on? Here's how!

Rebound is a term most commonly referred to when an offensive basketball player is able to retrieve the ball after a team member is unable to make a basket, prior to the defensive players taking possession. Although encouraged and accepted on the basketball court, the act of rebounding has been found to create unhealthy dynamics in relationships

What motivates an individual to begin a new relationship as soon as one ends? Several reasons have been identified, including societal expectations, inability to define self outside of a relationship, low self-esteem and afraid of being alone.  Yet, when you think about it, these are all reason not to establish a new relationship after ending one. Instead of allowing societal expectations dictate your happiness, how about your take control of your life and relationships and determine your own happiness.  Being in a relationship does not define a person or determine their worth.  

Relationship breakups leaves individual vulnerable and in those first few week, sometime months, and even years they are likely to develop unhealthy attachments and risk the chance of being taken advantage of mentally, emotionally, and possibly physically. By seeking the attention and affection in which they are longing for, they are opening themselves up to experiencing even more hurt, pain, shame, and resentment. They are unable to move forward in life and establish healthy relationships because they continue to be stuck in the past.

How You Can Deal With A Breakup Without Moving On To The Rebound 

  1. Allow yourself to deal with the emotions you are experiencing as the relationship ends. It is okay to feel shameful, have resentment, be angry, or feel depressed.  Ending a relationship is a significant loss.  As with any loss, there is a grieving period.  You cannot accept the end until you are able to deal with the feelings you have.  
  2. Realize a relationship does not define who you are. Evaluate your past relationship and identify the areas in which you could improve in the future. Instead of focusing on what the other person in the relationship did or did not do, focus on your role in the relationship. It is not about them, but about you.
  3. Take time out for you. Spend time with you and get to know yourself again. Find some activities that you can do or hobbies that have always interested you and engage in them. Becoming more acquainted with yourself helps you to become less dependent and more self-sufficient.
  4. Develop a positive support group of friends that you can cry and laugh with, along with share your thoughts. 

By dealing with your emotions, developing an understanding of your role in relationships and becoming more secure in yourself, you'll find that you will experience happiness and at the right time, the relationship for you will come. 

More advice on how to move on from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Karla Sapp

Counselor/Therapist

Karla L. Sapp, EdD, LPC, NCC

Location: Midway, GA
Credentials: EdD, LPC, MA, NCC
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