Are You A Mama's Boy (Or Girl)?


Are You A Mama's Boy (Or Girl)?
Whatever your age, in honor of mother's day, notice these signs of immaturity and grow up!

We've all heard the stories about millennials being so close with family they take their moms with them on job interviews. My immediate reaction was that we are witnessing a generation of  mama's boys and girls. Yes, I said girls. Woman can suffer from the same overinvolved, enmeshed relationships with their mothers that guys do.

Mama's boy has a pejorative ring, like Don Juan or gold digger, for good reason. I've said, in these pages, If you want a baby to take care of, then have a baby, don't marry one. As we approach Mother's Day, consider that your mother might prefer a grown up son…or daughter.


Typically, sometime during or after adolescence, you psychologically separate from your parents. You become a unique individual with your own set of ideas, beliefs and morals. You establish adult relationships with your parents. If you didn't have secrets before, you definitely have them now.

Mama's boys and girls do not manage the separation and individuation well. They remain attached in ways that can suffocate new relationships. Sometimes the problem behaviors are couched in religious, ethnic or regional cloaks, like, you must always respect your parents, or, your elders are always right.

Being a millennial is not a criterion for being a mama's boy or girl--you can be any age. There are obvious red flags, like living with your mom after age 25 or so, having her take your suits to the cleaner or relentlessly comparing partners to your mother. Here are some of the other ways you can spot the mama's boy or girl in you or your partner:

Asks mother about everything. A particularly irksome aspect of this is checking in with your mother before discussing something with your partner. Is your mother's opinion is more important than your partner's? Does everything need your mother's seal of approval? Talking or texting endlessly with your mother is another clue. Pouring salt in the wound of too much talk is sidling off for more private conversations. This really stings and smacks of keeping secrets from your partner.

Crosses boundaries. Telling your mother things most would consider private, like information about your sex life, is a not okay, unless you and your partner agree. Some couples like to keep financial and other information private. These are things to negotiate with your partner, not your mother.

Expects to be catered to. You're watching TV together and you ask for a glass of water. Your partner says they're too comfy and would rather you get it yourself, to which you reply, My mama never minds getting up to get me a glass of water. You partner probably wants to scream, I'M NOT YOUR MAMA! Not only are you guilty of comparing, but you're missing the fact that grownups do things for themselves.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Judith Tutin

Life Coach

Judith Tutin, PhD, ACC

Location: Rome, GA
Credentials: ACC, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Judith Tutin:

The Zen Of Wellness


Does the thought of creating a wellness plan trigger fears of deprivation, pain and suffering? You may worry about a diet free from unhealthy foods, the physical pain involved in starting an exercise program or the suffering of trying to make good choices when it would be so much easier to have that drink, smoke that cigarette or enjoy that chocolate ... Read more

Live Your BEST Life: 7 Steps To A Healthier, Happier Existence


These are my top wellness steps borrowed from what the books say and what I’ve learned from my clients. If you want to improve your wellness, you may have to eat differently, change your exercise program, or develop a new sleep plan.  You have to be focused. There may be other behaviors you have to look at, like how much time you work, relax and ... Read more

18 Signs You're Probably Having An Emotional Affair (Yikes)

By , ,

In this day and age, most of us have friends of the opposite sex, whether they are co-workers, casual acquaintances or close confidantes. The question is: how close is too close when you're in a romantic relationship with someone else? Here are some signs that your so-called friendship may be entering the not-so-gray area of emotional infidelity: 1. You ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular