HOLIDAY SEX-SAVER:Keeping the Spark Alive when Family's Underfoot

Holidays are prime time for out-of-town family to show up on your doorstep – or for you to appear on theirs. You might think that sharing space with mom, dad, or siblings will put quite a damper on your sex-life, but it actually doesn’t have to cramp your style. In fact, those “walls with ears” can even set the scene for a hotter happy holiday. Here's how.

Let’s start with the proposition that loving couples have a right to express private affection, no matter who else is under the same roof. But “right” is not the same as “willingness,” and feelings of discomfort with sexing it up are real enough when family is around. So, what can you do when you suddenly feel that it’s just plain wrong to do what comes naturally? First, take a moment to understand where those feelings came from. Often, the idea of doing the nasty while sharing space with the parental unit pushes the “replay” button on a lot of old, inhibiting messages about sex. Once you realize which aspect of your past is revisiting you, you have a chance to focus on and exorcise those anti-pleasure demons. There's no better way to vanquish them than by deliberately enjoying yourself in a context similar to the one in which they were born. Even if one if you is just too close to your memories to overcome them completely, you can still keep your love light burning bright by avoiding all-or-nothing propositions. Try these suggestions. 

Before facing the family, talk with your honey about the kind of affectionate and sexy gestures you'd both be comfortable with. Is kissing in the privacy of your bedroom OK? How about petting under the covers, or (very quiet) oral sex? Could you imagine having “tame sex”—the slow, easy kind that doesn’t make beds squeak; where even an ear pressed to the bedroom door couldn’t hear a peep?  See how many playful options you can list to keep sex over the holidays fun and freeing—and remember: no rule stipulates having sex inside the house. For a truly sexy season, find plenty of opportunities to slip away alone. Even a quick trip “to the mall” will allow for a tryst at a roadside motel or a tumble in the back seat of your car. If you play the imagination game, you can throw your sexual routine to the winds and become rebellious teenagers all over again. And that just might be the best holiday gift you could give yourselves!